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A mother to two clone children plans for more clone children, but she must make the world a place where they can survive, so she unleashes her ability to kill using only her brain, founding a world of potent and fertile.
Aschwin hit it right on the head with his comments. Also, Your indirectly-implied-goal is way larger than it needs to be. Keep it a bit simpler. What entity or person is trying to stop her and why? Cloning was a screenplay fad decades ago and unless you are introducing something really new, I can'tRead more
Aschwin hit it right on the head with his comments. Also,
Your indirectly-implied-goal is way larger than it needs to be. Keep it a bit simpler. What entity or person is trying to stop her and why? Cloning was a screenplay fad decades ago and unless you are introducing something really new, I can’t imagine where the hook comes from that a non-cloned family would easily deliver instead.
I’m certain a mass-killer won’t make the world a better place.
Let me try a version:
A biologically enhanced mother uses her abilities to challenge the global government into allowing cloning as a legal means to re-populate the world.
See lessA hopeless romantic is stuck in a love triangle with her fiance and his bestman, and has three months to choose who she walks down the isle with.
Agree with Paul. He hit on everything I thought about after? reading this log version.
Agree with Paul. He hit on everything I thought about after? reading this log version.
See lessWhen a captured demon finally finds a way to get rid of, a magician and a ex nun have to risk their lives in order to save the kingdom from a vengeful demon.
Good advice, moviefreak. Thieves can do things out of character, sure, but don't promote an out-of-character thief in your log. It jumps out at you. Is this a medieval set? Hard to get around the comma placement in the first line. May want to examine that usage. Otherwise, you have some decent elemeRead more
Good advice, moviefreak.
Thieves can do things out of character, sure, but don’t promote an out-of-character thief in your log. It jumps out at you.
Is this a medieval set? Hard to get around the comma placement in the first line. May want to examine that usage.
Otherwise, you have some decent elements already. Play around with this from different perspectives.
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