Sign Up Sign Up

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sign In Sign In

Forgot Password?

If you'd like access, Sign Up Here

Forgot Password Forgot Password

Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.

Logline It! Logo Logline It! Logo
Sign InSign Up

Logline It!

Logline It! Navigation

  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
Search
Post Your Logline

Mobile menu

Close
Post Your Logline
  • Signup
  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
  • About
  • Questions
  • Answers
  • Best Answers
  1. Posted: March 21, 2013In: Student Loglines

    A mentally troubled banker from Chicago finds himself hard to go by everyday due to his traumatic past, he manages the people who made him who he is now which leads him into a plot to sabotage there financial lives and turn his without being notice by the bank, the victim and overcoming his own greed.

    gabbatron
    Added an answer on March 21, 2013 at 11:06 am

    OH well the logline made it seem to me that he is now managing the people who 'made him' which mean that he wouldn't be that good without them, so the way you worded it makes him seem evil

    OH well the logline made it seem to me that he is now managing the people who ‘made him’ which mean that he wouldn’t be that good without them, so the way you worded it makes him seem evil

    See less
    • 0
    • Share
      Share
      • Share on Facebook
      • Share on Twitter
      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp
  2. Posted: March 21, 2013In: Student Loglines

    A mentally troubled banker from Chicago finds himself hard to go by everyday due to his traumatic past, he manages the people who made him who he is now which leads him into a plot to sabotage there financial lives and turn his without being notice by the bank, the victim and overcoming his own greed.

    gabbatron
    Added an answer on March 21, 2013 at 10:42 am

    I think you can get rid of the word ' mentally', because the point is clear if it's ' a troubled banker'., especially you mention his traumatic past. Also, he 'finds it hard to get by' rather than 'finds himself hard to go by', or even ' struggles to get by'. And 'he manages the people who made him,Read more

    I think you can get rid of the word ‘ mentally’, because the point is clear if it’s ‘ a troubled banker’., especially you mention his traumatic past.
    Also, he ‘finds it hard to get by’ rather than ‘finds himself hard to go by’, or even ‘ struggles to get by’. And ‘he manages the people who made him, which leads’ would suffice, and he sabotages ‘ their finances’ not ‘ there financial lives’. And what do you mean by ‘turn his without being noticed’?, keeping that sentence it should be ‘ and turns his without being noticed by the bank’
    Who’s the victim? and he’s doing it without overcoming his own greed? or is his plan to over come his own greed? I’m confused
    So I think it should be ‘ A troubled Chicago banker who struggles to get by every day due to his traumatic past, manages the people who made him, which leads him to sabotage their finances and turn his without being noticed by the bank, the victim, and overcoming his own greed’

    but i still have very little idea about the what’s happening to the bank, who the victim is, and what’s going on with his greed.

    See less
    • 0
    • Share
      Share
      • Share on Facebook
      • Share on Twitter
      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp
  3. Posted: March 21, 2013In: Student Loglines

    When writing teacher Karels students start failing, he must kick it into overdrive in order to get his students to pass before the end of the Semester.

    gabbatron
    Added an answer on March 21, 2013 at 10:27 am

    sensational, flawless.

    sensational, flawless.

    See less
    • 0
    • Share
      Share
      • Share on Facebook
      • Share on Twitter
      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp
1 2 3

Sidebar

Stats

  • Loglines 7,997
  • Reviews 32,189
  • Best Reviews 629
  • Users 3,710

screenwriting courses

Adv 120x600

aalan

Explore

  • Signup

Footer

© 2022 Karel Segers. All Rights Reserved
With Love from Immersion Screenwriting.