1. Posted: October 30, 2020In:

    A trio of college students discovers street racing becoming deadly when they discover a racer was a serial killer.

    GeminiSilverOfficial Penpusher

    Good hook, but add an adjective for the protagonists and create huge death stakes along with a compelling force of antagonism. Something like: "A trio of car-savvy college students discover the deadly consequences of street racing when their competitor is an infamous serial killer hellbent on revengRead more

    Good hook, but add an adjective for the protagonists and create huge death stakes along with a compelling force of antagonism.

    Something like:

    “A trio of car-savvy college students discover the deadly consequences of street racing when their competitor is an infamous serial killer hellbent on revenge.”

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  2. Posted: November 7, 2020In:

    After stealing a mysterious present on Christmas Eve, a selfish little boy must repent or be devoured by a monstrous elf.

    GeminiSilverOfficial Penpusher

    Thank you! I've been trying to figure out the clarity of the present as I rewrite whilst maintaining the monstrous elf within the logline standard.

    Thank you! I’ve been trying to figure out the clarity of the present as I rewrite whilst maintaining the monstrous elf within the logline standard.

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  3. Posted: November 7, 2020In:

    After stealing a mysterious present on Christmas Eve, a selfish little boy must repent or be devoured by a monstrous elf.

    GeminiSilverOfficial Penpusher

    Repent to the entity taking form of the elf who is haunting him for his act of stealing on Christmas.

    Repent to the entity taking form of the elf who is haunting him for his act of stealing on Christmas.

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