1. Posted: September 5, 2018In:

    When a nightmare depicts her committing a murder, an insecure paramedic must make questionable decisions at work to avoid her fear of the nightmare coming true.

    haannaa Penpusher

    I think it's a very interesting concept, just add a few more details and make the logline a bit clearer. Will "the murder" she commit be at the hospital, and that is why she's making questionable decisions?

    I think it’s a very interesting concept, just add a few more details and make the logline a bit clearer. Will “the murder” she commit be at the hospital, and that is why she’s making questionable decisions?

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  2. Posted: September 5, 2018In:

    When their son takes his own life, his determined mother must seek out her orphaned nephew in an effort to support his dreams like she never could for her own child.

    Best Answer
    haannaa Penpusher

    I'm a bit confused about why the mother "must" seek out her nephew. Maybe it's better if she learns she has an orphaned nephew she didn't know about? It makes me question why she didn't look for him sooner, even if her son was still alive. Also it says "their" son, is the other parent a big part ofRead more

    I’m a bit confused about why the mother “must” seek out her nephew. Maybe it’s better if she learns she has an orphaned nephew she didn’t know about? It makes me question why she didn’t look for him sooner, even if her son was still alive.

    Also it says “their” son, is the other parent a big part of the story? Otherwise I think its better to just say “her” son.

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