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After giving a tape showing a ritual killing to a deputy. Both the tape and the deputy go missing. When he finds more tapes he needs to get them to the police and survive attacks from unknown individuals. PS: small town, he thinks the cops are involved.
Note: I am by no means a professional, so I'm a little unsure of myself, but the first thing I would suggest is to make it flow a little more. The way you split it into sentences makes it choppy.? Also, we don't know who the protagonist is, and he should merit a few words. The idea is really cool, tRead more
Note: I am by no means a professional, so I’m a little unsure of myself, but the first thing I would suggest is to make it flow a little more. The way you split it into sentences makes it choppy.? Also, we don’t know who the protagonist is, and he should merit a few words. The idea is really cool, though.
Try this:
After [THE PROTAGONIST] gives a tape showing a ritual killing to a deputy, both tape and deputy go missing. When he finds more tapes, he must get them to the police before the perpetrators strike again and survive attacks by unknown individuals.
See lessAfter a popular police officer is suspended indefinitely for shooting a black teen, a desk duty officer seizes his opportunity to be a hero, serving as his town’s only source of law enforcement when the rest of the police force protests by calling in “sick” for a week.
This idea strikes me as really cool on the one hand, but on the other, I could see you getting into a lot of trouble with it, especially because this reads more like a comedy to me than a drama. It'd depend on how it was handled, I suppose.
This idea strikes me as really cool on the one hand, but on the other, I could see you getting into a lot of trouble with it, especially because this reads more like a comedy to me than a drama. It’d depend on how it was handled, I suppose.
See lessA woman decides to sabotage her best friend’s wedding when she realizes her former fiance is proposing to her.
Agreed with most of the above; I understand that the first "her" is the woman and the second "her" is the best friend, but it needs to be made more obvious.
Agreed with most of the above; I understand that the first “her” is the woman and the second “her” is the best friend, but it needs to be made more obvious.
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