1. Posted: October 14, 2019In:

    When a young assassin discovers a conspiracy that could destroy the very nation she swore to serve, the hunter becomes the hunted when she becomes the target of the organization that raised her.

    Jo Logliner

    I think I agree with the two responses. But mine is more of a knee-jerk response. Its too generic and much like what you see in a typical YA - chosen one installment. Good luck.

    I think I agree with the two responses. But mine is more of a knee-jerk response. Its too generic and much like what you see in a typical YA – chosen one installment. Good luck.

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  2. Posted: October 25, 2019In:

    A journalist quits his job to write a book about a woman he’s become infatuated with – a reclusive movie star, unwilling to give him the truth.

    Jo Logliner

    A nice premise but it lacks enough conflict to make it more compelling. What truth is compelling? Is that the reason she is reclusive? In what way is she unwilling?

    A nice premise but it lacks enough conflict to make it more compelling. What truth is compelling? Is that the reason she is reclusive? In what way is she unwilling?

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  3. Posted: October 27, 2019In:

    When a ambitious young Egyptian princess wanting to be a warrior, is tired of her title being the only thing she stand for she embark on a journey to prove to her village and father she is capable of saving them from the horrors of demon king Lord Orthius that is bent on revenge

    Jo Logliner

    It's a nice premise but a tad derivative. Maybe add something that will give the plot a little more oomph. Right now, it seems Scorpion King-esque.

    It’s a nice premise but a tad derivative. Maybe add something that will give the plot a little more oomph. Right now, it seems Scorpion King-esque.

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