1. Posted: May 7, 2019In:

    When her prestigious legal firm goes under for corruption, a successful lawyer finds herself reliving her troubled childhood when she reluctantly accepts a job as legal aid family court lawyer.

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    I think you should try to add stakes to the struggle the protagonist takes on. In its current state, it feels as if the protagonist is reacting to the situation she finds herself in by reliving this trauma. If you can show how the stakes involved effects her struggle, you'll have a stronger concept.

    I think you should try to add stakes to the struggle the protagonist takes on. In its current state, it feels as if the protagonist is reacting to the situation she finds herself in by reliving this trauma. If you can show how the stakes involved effects her struggle, you’ll have a stronger concept.

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  2. Posted: June 1, 2019In:

    Brought together by chance an unwonted romance blooms between an affluent twenty-something and a down on his luck mendicant.

    kid_gokuu Logliner

    There doesn't seem to be anything for these characters to gain other than each other. If that is true, the movie wouldn't have any legs to stand on. If you add some kind of struggle or force or goal that would make one character actively pursue the other, then you've created something for the audienRead more

    There doesn’t seem to be anything for these characters to gain other than each other. If that is true, the movie wouldn’t have any legs to stand on. If you add some kind of struggle or force or goal that would make one character actively pursue the other, then you’ve created something for the audience to latch on to. Without that, the movie would just be characters doing random things until they fall in love, if you create some tension, the relationship of your characters becomes more realistic.

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  3. Posted: June 1, 2019In:

    The Balcony-Scaler, The Train-Feeder, The Skin-Scratcher, and The Pornographic-Men. All serial killers. Their crimes committed the same decade, inside the same city where detectives will lose hope in search of justice.

    kid_gokuu Logliner

    I like the overall idea, even without a clear protagonist the logline seems to hold its own. I think that if you're gonna go down the route of each detective taking on a different serial killer, the could be a clearer struggle. You allude to the losing hope in the logline, that seems to be the stakeRead more

    I like the overall idea, even without a clear protagonist the logline seems to hold its own. I think that if you’re gonna go down the route of each detective taking on a different serial killer, the could be a clearer struggle. You allude to the losing hope in the logline, that seems to be the stakes you’re trying to portray, maybe you can turn it around by giving the detectives something to give them hope, like a lead that could possibly tie the serial killers together.

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