fwiw:

Thanks for your feedback again! you’re extremely helpful. I may try to pack her fathers financial ruin in the first 2 minutes of the film (I’d have to try to figure out exactly how) but I also like the less dramatic scenario that you suggested. It’s possible i may change my story to that – I like that its a simple cause (her dad wants to teach her value of hard work) with a good motive for her (she has to get a job soher dad can pay for tuition), as well as with the peer pressure from her friends – the only thing is that I don’t want it to seem like she is a negative character, as though she is being punished that she has to get a job. She’s a good girl thats unintentionally spoiled.

what do you think of this new logline:

When a daughter of an affluent family is challenged on the value of hard work, she is forced to take a miserable job at the run-down amusement park to prove herself.