1. Posted: March 14, 2016In:

    When the Devil steals the Grim Reaper’s power source, her scythe, releasing the undead on the earth, Death must reunite with her estranged brothers, regain her powers and stop the Apocalypse.

    Leannf411 Logliner

    I am assuming that Death and the Grim Reaper are the same person? It feels a little unclear. I agree that the devil is a little too (easy? ). Try picking a specific one .......Maybe Lucifer or one of the minions. ?I can see the connection between loosing the scythe and the Apocalypse.......lots of dRead more

    I am assuming that Death and the Grim Reaper are the same person? It feels a little unclear. I agree that the devil is a little too (easy? ). Try picking a specific one …….Maybe Lucifer or one of the minions. ?I can see the connection between loosing the scythe and the Apocalypse…….lots of dead people roaming the streets would certainly look like the Apocalypse. I like the concept.
    Estranged brother…….what about him will help the quest? Is he a fallen angel? Need more drama. ? ?:)

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  2. Posted: August 27, 2016In:

    Izzy Concannon: Rogue, outlaw, lost Terran, finds herself on a doomed vessel hunting the last of the mad battleships in deep space.

    Leannf411 Logliner

    I agree with the above but also I think the "mad battleships" needs more ........ are the ships aware? Are the people manning them crazy? Can you think of a creative way to define the quest and make it more dramatic/dangerous? Why is she hunting them?

    I agree with the above but also I think the “mad battleships” needs more …….. are the ships aware? Are the people manning them crazy? Can you think of a creative way to define the quest and make it more dramatic/dangerous? Why is she hunting them?

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  3. Posted: August 28, 2016In:

    After a sorcerer kills her father, a sheltered princes must search for her exiled enchantress mother in order to learn the forbidden arts and save her people from the usurper

    Leannf411 Logliner

    I think you can end with ? ?"......and take back the Throne." ? Obviously they are a rival since they have stolen the throne. ?I like the idea. Can you add her name? Princess........ ? ? ?I would like to know what you mean by supernatural......is mom a witch? Something scary? You might get more mileRead more

    I think you can end with ? ?”……and take back the Throne.” ? Obviously they are a rival since they have stolen the throne. ?I like the idea. Can you add her name? Princess…….. ? ? ?I would like to know what you mean by supernatural……is mom a witch? Something scary? You might get more mileage by defining what makes her supernatural.

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