1. Posted: September 28, 2020In:

    After the death of his twin sister, a struggling teen slips into a fantasy world of denial. Taking on a mythic adventure, the ensuing clash of values with local tyrant businessman, resolves a 40-year-old mystery at the heart of his communities suffering.

    Lee Tolley Penpusher

    Thanks Richiev This is very close to the inner journey of the character, so archetypally yes all of the above. I am seeing the tyrant businessman in the fantasy world as a drug warlord. a lynchpin of crime, prostitution, human trafficking, arms dealer type of guy. The opposite of a benevolent king bRead more

    Thanks Richiev

    This is very close to the inner journey of the character, so archetypally yes all of the above.

    I am seeing the tyrant businessman in the fantasy world as a drug warlord. a lynchpin of crime, prostitution, human trafficking, arms dealer type of guy. The opposite of a benevolent king but he rules his rules. If I had one word to describe him. Toxic.

    The conflict for the protagonist is – how do I stop from becoming this toxic person?

    Life is easier for the tyrant businessman, he has outer show of strength and power, some of what the protagonist wants, yet he can’t bring himself to go down that path

    The actions the lead character must take is to do the real work, no easy shortcuts. Yes slay the inner dragon, inner fears of becoming the tyrant.

    I just have to ground it the outer journey now.

    Thank you, your insights are very helpful.

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  2. Posted: August 26, 2020In:

    17 year old twin, Deighton Young needs to negotiate his last year of school while grieving for his recently drowned brother. Dropping out of school due to grief he is forced by his father to work for white collar criminal Harry Mackay, in doing so he uncovers unethical business practice leading back to resolving a multi-generational mystery surrounding the disappearance of Lani Drum 40 years earlier.

    Lee Tolley Penpusher

    Thanks for your feedback dpg .. reduce and refine .. got it

    Thanks for your feedback dpg .. reduce and refine .. got it

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  3. Posted: September 26, 2020In:

    A man is accused by a fortune teller of being guilty of a series of crimes, which have not yet been committed; and what seemed like a bad joke turns into a nightmare when the police arrive looking for him, considering him the main suspect in a murder. Now he must flee to prove his innocence, before another death occurs.

    Lee Tolley Penpusher

    Hi Oscuro, I feel this would benefit by bring fully into present tense.. i.e fleeing to prove his innocence before another death occurs.

    Hi Oscuro,

    I feel this would benefit by bring fully into present tense.. i.e fleeing to prove his innocence before another death occurs.

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