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Series Logline: A quirky, man crazy, thirty-something turns her life upside down to find out why she is loveless and unlucky in New York City.
This feels like it needs one more element to put it over. ?How does she turn her life upside down? ? Does she become a cat burglar and breaks into the homes of people she thinks are happy to spy on them and then she gets caught? ?Does she fake her own death and then pretend to be private eye, investRead more
This feels like it needs one more element to put it over. ?How does she turn her life upside down? ? Does she become a cat burglar and breaks into the homes of people she thinks are happy to spy on them and then she gets caught? ?Does she fake her own death and then pretend to be private eye, investigating her own murder, but interviewing all her past loves to figure out what went wrong? ?What are her quirks? ?Is she OCD? ?Does she hear voices? ?Or does she just like her coffee a certain way?
As it is, this sounds generic. ?What’s your big first episode scene where we get a sense of – holy crap, this woman is NUTS! ?Give a hint of that here.
See lessWhen the daughter of a corrupt Mexican police chef of Iguala is kidnapped, he goes om a murderous rampage while unwillingly helped by a masked female vigilante who brutally revenges the endless killings of Mexican favela girls.
The story here sounds like one that could be?pretty exciting, but the moment I get to "police chef", I wonder if I'm in good hands. ?And this plot has a lot to untangle. ?This police chief is corrupt. ?He's a bad dude. ?His daughter is kidnapped and so he goes on a murderous rampage - killing whom,Read more
The story here sounds like one that could be?pretty exciting, but the moment I get to “police chef”, I wonder if I’m in good hands. ?And this plot has a lot to untangle. ?This police chief is corrupt. ?He’s a bad dude. ?His daughter is kidnapped and so he goes on a murderous rampage – killing whom, though? ?And why? ?To get her back? ?Or is she dead? ?The idea that it’s revenge seems to suggest that she’s dead now. ?And does he know that the vigilante is helping him and he doesn’t want her help? ?Or does he not know?
What about this:
When his daughter is kidnapped, a corrupt Mexican police chief goes on a bloody rampage to get her back with the help of masked female vigilante.
That’s still pretty clumsy, but hopefully a little simpler.
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