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When an introverted storyboard artist gets assigned to paint the picture of the culprit she has to infiltrate with the suspected underground network and paint all their portraits to find out who the killer really is.
This sounds like a great concept for a thriller. I do wonder, who is "the" culprit? Maybe specify what the culprit has done. Same goes for "the" underground network, I'd replace that with "an" underground network. Also, a comma somewhere in the middle would be great. Something like this: "When an inRead more
This sounds like a great concept for a thriller.
See lessI do wonder, who is “the” culprit? Maybe specify what the culprit has done. Same goes for “the” underground network, I’d replace that with “an” underground network. Also, a comma somewhere in the middle would be great. Something like this:
“When an introverted storyboard artist gets assigned a mysterious homicide, she has to infiltrate an underground network in order to unveil the killer’s true identity.”
When a film crew is ungrateful on set, a fed up crafty serves up the ultimate revenge.
This logline would benefit from a clearer major event, specifying what the film crew member does to show their ungratefulness. Same goes for the action - what does the crafty need to accomplish in order to serve up this revenge? Also, I don't know what a crafty is, and I suspect most people that areRead more
This logline would benefit from a clearer major event, specifying what the film crew member does to show their ungratefulness. Same goes for the action – what does the crafty need to accomplish in order to serve up this revenge? Also, I don’t know what a crafty is, and I suspect most people that aren’t in the movie industry don’t either, so maybe replace that with a more descriptive term of the job.
See lessWhen she discovers her landlord is a vampire, an occult historian must destroy their wealth to destroy the ancient vampire nest.
I don't get the part about destroying the wealth - does that mean bankrupt her? If so, why? Making that clearer would make for a punchier logline. Also, the word "destroy" is repeated. Otherwise, totally a movie I would go see!
I don’t get the part about destroying the wealth – does that mean bankrupt her? If so, why? Making that clearer would make for a punchier logline.
See lessAlso, the word “destroy” is repeated.
Otherwise, totally a movie I would go see!