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A meek middle-aged clerk has to escape a violent interrogation by a determined CIA agent who identifies him as the nation’s number one terrorist menace.
From what I understand, the clerk is indeed the terrorist. Is that the story? Just checking, because from this logline I get the feeling that you're implying that the clerk is indeed the terrorist, but if that were the case, you could have worded it different: "The nation's number one terrorist menaRead more
From what I understand, the clerk is indeed the terrorist. Is that the story? Just checking, because from this logline I get the feeling that you’re implying that the clerk is indeed the terrorist, but if that were the case, you could have worded it different: “The nation’s number one terrorist menace, hiding as a meek middle-aged clerk, has to escape a violent interrogation by a determined CIA agent”. Or even “Nation’s number one terrorist menace must run after being discovered by a determined CIA agent”.
See lessIf you meant that the clerk is not the terrorist, I would change the verb for another one that implies that there’s been a misunderstanding.
If you did meant it that way, it’s an okay logline. Maybe influenced by @Odie’s comment, I think the logline implies a shorter course of action than a movie. Is it only about escaping a violent interrogation? Or is it a larger story?
Also, I would find a way to say “nation’s number one terrorist menace” in less words if possible. Though I think it’s important to state that he’s that dangerous, those are 6 words that could be reduced.