1. Posted: July 26, 2017In:

    In her online search for ?Mr. Right,? a timid computer programmer builds an algorithm that evolves into a rogue Artificial Intelligence?which the government wants to terminate.

    RoseVilaflor Logliner

    Hi byron79, I like this logline. It's intriguing, it gives an idea where the audience is going and even gives a clear picture of who is the protagonist. What I'm missing is more clarity on who is the antagonist. Government, is too general for me to get a picture who is the protagonist going to apposRead more

    Hi byron79,

    I like this logline. It’s intriguing, it gives an idea where the audience is going and even gives a clear picture of who is the protagonist. What I’m missing is more clarity on who is the antagonist. Government, is too general for me to get a picture who is the protagonist going to appose.

    Also I’m missing what are the stakes that are piled on the way of the protagonist. Otherwise, I find it interesting enough to read on.

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  2. Posted: July 26, 2017In:

    When a family-less teenage Jewish boy encounters a girl depicted as Jewish and promises to be together before he is sent to a Nazi camp, he gets help from a Commandant to be acknowledged she is Hitler?s daughter, but he decides to keep the promise and find her out.

    RoseVilaflor Logliner

    Hi Andre, Reading your logine is confusing. It's more of a beginning of a story and not a logline. As much as I understand it, a logline should be concise and should reflect the full range of what the movie is about. In your logline I get lost in the details and do not get the full picture of who isRead more

    Hi Andre,
    Reading your logine is confusing. It’s more of a beginning of a story and not a logline. As much as I understand it, a logline should be concise and should reflect the full range of what the movie is about. In your logline I get lost in the details and do not get the full picture of who is the protagonist, who is the antagonist and what is the?protagonist wants and what does he need to reach the goal.

    All in all I would sum up my feedback to a very short sentence – “you lost the forest due to?too many trees”…

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