1. Posted: June 17, 2020In:

    A selfish drunkard is forced to run a startup and fight powerful government agencies after he inherits it from his righteous entrepreneur best friend who died mysteriously.

    savinh0 Samurai

    Some questions:Why is he forced to run the startup?  Does he work for his friend before and take over the company after his friend dies? Why does he have to fight powerful government agencies as the leader of a startup? What's going on with the death of his best friend? You say, he died mysteriouslyRead more

    Some questions:

    • Why is he forced to run the startup?  Does he work for his friend before and take over the company after his friend dies?

     

    • Why does he have to fight powerful government agencies as the leader of a startup?

     

    • What’s going on with the death of his best friend? You say, he died mysteriously. Does the selfish drunkard investigate the death of his best friend or not? I’m inclined to think so, because otherwise you wouldn’t put mysterious into your story.

     

    • “Fight powerful government agencies” is too generic in my opinion. Try to find something more visual.

     

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  2. Posted: June 13, 2020In:

    When a white supremacist cop is confronted by billboards calling out his chief’s neglect of a rape and murder case, he must silence the victim’s bitter mother and return peace to the town.

    savinh0 Samurai

    Good version, Karel! I was just wondering if the logline wasn't told from the perspective of the mother (Frances McDormand)? I thought she was the protagonist.  

    Good version, Karel! I was just wondering if the logline wasn’t told from the perspective of the mother (Frances McDormand)? I thought she was the protagonist.

     

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  3. Posted: May 14, 2020In:

    A down-on-his-luck videographer breaks his estranged mother out of prison to steal the grand prize from a filthy rich YouTuber – a million-dollar Bitcoin.

    savinh0 Samurai

    Sounds like a fun comedy, Odie! I love concepts with two totally different main characters going against each other, especially in a fun and idiotic way ;)After I read your response to Mike I have a few questions:Does the mother help him in winning the prize or is she just a bystander??Is the grandRead more

    Sounds like a fun comedy, Odie! I love concepts with two totally different main characters going against each other, especially in a fun and idiotic way 😉

    After I read your response to Mike I have a few questions:

      • Does the mother help him in winning the prize or is she just a bystander?

    ?

      • Is the grand prize just an excuse from the videographer or does he actually want to win the prize? (You wrote it is just a red herring, that’s why I ask)

    ?

      • Do you want to focus your story on the relationship of these two? (I think that’s where you’re going right now)

    ?

    My advice to you is: Focus on the videographer and his estranged mother. I think this love-hate relationship has some great potential to make us laugh. Reminds me a little bit of Harry and Marv in Home alone 🙂

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