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When a delusional young woman is confronted by the closure of her uncle’s vintage car dealership, she must travel cross-country to see it one last time.
I like the vintage 35mm/Little Miss Sunshine feel this gives me. I assume she wants to go to the shop to reminisce, but maybe whatever it is should be clearer in the logline. The narrative potential the "delusional" aspect has really excites me
I like the vintage 35mm/Little Miss Sunshine feel this gives me. I assume she wants to go to the shop to reminisce, but maybe whatever it is should be clearer in the logline. The narrative potential the “delusional” aspect has really excites me
See lessWhen he notices that the camera-man on set is an alien planning on taking over the world, the percipient lead actor must convince the rest of the crew to save the planet.
Maybe emphasise that the actor is in the biggest production yet. For example "When he notices that the camera-man on the biggest film of his life..." Also, could be a funny twist if the reason no one believed him is that everyone else is an alien too and they're trying to keep the secret - not reallRead more
Maybe emphasise that the actor is in the biggest production yet. For example “When he notices that the camera-man on the biggest film of his life…”
Also, could be a funny twist if the reason no one believed him is that everyone else is an alien too and they’re trying to keep the secret – not really a logline addition though.
Overall I really like the concept and think it’d be really funny.
See lessWhen a car swerves into a telephone pole, a young girl rushes to help the injured driver; but when the driver takes her hostage as police arrive, she must find a way to escape her captor.
You really pulled me into the world and gave a good idea of how the story will take shape, to have her be captured is a twist that surprises me and makes me want to watch the final film/read the screenplay. Only thing I'd say is to clean up the syntax; specifically the third "when" makes it feel a bRead more
You really pulled me into the world and gave a good idea of how the story will take shape, to have her be captured is a twist that surprises me and makes me want to watch the final film/read the screenplay.
See lessOnly thing I’d say is to clean up the syntax; specifically the third “when” makes it feel a bit clunky to read. Maybe, “but when the driver takes her hostage before the police arrive, she must find a way to escape her captor.”
Overall, really great job.