1. Posted: October 30, 2023In:

    When a single father attempts to recreate an idyllic childhood for his son through his beloved video game, a spark of rebellion from the boy compels him to face the harsh reality of their generational divide.

    Vexmeister Penpusher

    This may be a great screenplay, but the logline makes the story seem quite small. This is because the conflict doesn't feel drastic enough to carry a whole movie. It is quite common for a child to have different interests and values to a parent, and it's still possible for them to have a great relatRead more

    This may be a great screenplay, but the logline makes the story seem quite small. This is because the conflict doesn’t feel drastic enough to carry a whole movie. It is quite common for a child to have different interests and values to a parent, and it’s still possible for them to have a great relationship. Can you make the conflict bigger?

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  2. Posted: October 19, 2023In:

    The night before her on call shift, Sarah, a nurse working a second job, finds herself in the midst of late night deliveries. As she tries to walk her way back home, after the last delivery of the night, her night leads her all the way to work.

    Vexmeister Penpusher

    I agree with Richiev's points. Additionally, it might be good to encapsulate what her character flaw/ arc is. E.g. Simba must overcome his immaturity, Shrek must get over his desire to be a loner, Oskar Schindler must move beyond his lust for money.

    I agree with Richiev’s points. Additionally, it might be good to encapsulate what her character flaw/ arc is. E.g. Simba must overcome his immaturity, Shrek must get over his desire to be a loner, Oskar Schindler must move beyond his lust for money.

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