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  1. Posted: April 10, 2023In: SciFi

    In Quito, Ecuador, an indigenous singer and dancer with powers to slow down or advance time uses them as a resource to make decisions that always make her happy; as she grows older, what she doesn’t imagine is that she will believe she is losing them, thus changing the whole course of her life.

    xtra3440 Penpusher
    Added an answer on May 8, 2023 at 4:15 pm

    This is really good! I’d love to read/watch it. I can only think of it benefiting from conciseness. Things like replacing singer and dancer with performer, and replacing the power description with something like “time manipulation powers” and of course rearranging the other words/sentences to fit.

    This is really good! I’d love to read/watch it. I can only think of it benefiting from conciseness. Things like replacing singer and dancer with performer, and replacing the power description with something like “time manipulation powers” and of course rearranging the other words/sentences to fit.

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  2. Posted: May 5, 2023In: Thriller

    When a clinical study to create a vaccination that lowers heart attack risks accidentally creates a novel deadly flu variant, a medical missionary is forced to team up with the virus’s creators to stop a potential global pandemic that could kill millions. The missionary nun and her spy companions are forced to rely on a brutal Russian biocontainment unit if they are to escape from the Caribbean island’s deranged dictator and find a cure to prevent a global disaster.

    xtra3440 Penpusher
    Added an answer on May 8, 2023 at 4:10 pm

    This is so interesting! You clearly have a clear understanding of the story you want to write, but less might be more. Cutting down some details about the virus itself could leave more room to talk about the other things. Also removing passive language raised the stakes and hook more people! An examRead more

    This is so interesting! You clearly have a clear understanding of the story you want to write, but less might be more. Cutting down some details about the virus itself could leave more room to talk about the other things. Also removing passive language raised the stakes and hook more people! An example using just what you’ve written:

    When a clinical study accidentally creates a deadly flu variant, a medical missionary is forced to team up with the virus’ creators to stop a global pandemic. The missionary nun and her spy companions are forced to rely on a brutal Russian bio containment unit if they are to escape from the Caribbean island’s deranged dictator and find a cure to prevent a global disaster.

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  3. Posted: May 7, 2023In: Fantasy

    Centuries ago, the first generation of the Givean defeated the Darck Order and sealed them away. Many years later, the newest generation of the Givean must pick up where their predecessor left off.

    xtra3440 Penpusher
    Added an answer on May 8, 2023 at 4:01 pm

    Cool idea, and I think adding more information would make it even better! Maybe shortening the first part like “Centuries after [this person / these people] sealed away the Darck Order [In this specific way], [the important characters] of the Givean must continue. And adding the new way in which theRead more

    Cool idea, and I think adding more information would make it even better! Maybe shortening the first part like “Centuries after [this person / these people] sealed away the Darck Order [In this specific way], [the important characters] of the Givean must continue. And adding the new way in which the Darck order puts up a fight!

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