In a world, where a city is constantly tormented by superhuman creatures called enigmas, three young adults, a cocky hothead, a blunt but caring diplomat, and an energetic adrenaline junkie, discover they?re a part of the enigma population but decide to use their powers to defend Apollo City.

In logline terms, at 48 words, it’s a little long. I don’t think we need to know that they are called enigmas. Whilst it’s interesting, in plot terms it makes very little difference.

I think it would be stronger if there was a single protagonist who leads the other two, however, if you wanted to stick to three then I would scrap the descriptions and just go with “three idealistic superhumans”.

I don’t really understand why the enigmas are tormenting the city in the first place. It seems a little 2-dimensional.

Surely these characters know they’re enigmas from the start? If one of them is caring, why, just because he’s discovered he’s an enigma, would he suddenly start attacking the city just because the other enigmas do.

I think more work is needed on the whole enigma thing – or at least how it comes across in the logline. I like the idea of some characters bucking the trend and standing up for something they’re supposed to be attacking. Although, three against however many other enigmas… seems like an impossible task.

“Apollo City” – don’t use names in a logline. It doesn’t add anything.

You don’t need a comma after “world” either – it might be super nit-picky but some producers might see a simple grammatical error and make a snap judgement on the quality of your writing based on it. It’s easy to avoid typos and grammatical issues in a logline and can make a big difference.