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JMLogliner
Posted: April 6, 20202020-04-06T06:02:44+10:00 2020-04-06T06:02:44+10:00In: Horror

After killing its progeny as part of an initiation hunting family ritual, a man and his teenage son must protect themselves from a horrid beast that hunts in the dark and feeds upon human skin.

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    4 Reviews

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    1. Richiev Singularity
      2020-04-06T17:41:40+10:00Added an answer on April 6, 2020 at 5:41 pm

      I had to read this one twice.

      After killing its progeny as part of an initiation hunting family ritual… When I read this the first time I thought the hunter had killed one of his own sons as part of a family hunting ritual.

      The second time around I realized the father and son killed the beasts progeny.

      As a result, I would change the beginning line to make the logline more clear

      An example:

      “When they kill the progeny of a horrid beast that hunts in the dark and feeds upon human skin. A father and son must…”

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    2. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2020-04-06T21:31:17+10:00Added an answer on April 6, 2020 at 9:31 pm

      Agreed with Richiev.

      Also, who is the main character father or son?

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    3. JM Logliner
      2020-04-07T09:49:00+10:00Added an answer on April 7, 2020 at 9:49 am

      Thank you both for your reviews.

      The main character is the teenager – at least the film is told on his point of view.

      I had the same dilemma about the beginning of the logline. That’s why I chose the words “its”, as it is referring to the beast. But I guess I’ll go with a beginning as suggested by Richiev. It’s more straightforward.

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    4. guswakey Logliner
      2020-04-08T08:06:03+10:00Added an answer on April 8, 2020 at 8:06 am

      With regards to the beast hunting only at night- are the father and son stuck somewhere they can’t easily get away from, or can the night time have more of a significance? I’m thinking of Quiet Place, Birdbox and It Comes at Night as examples of stories where the enemy attacks happen at a certain time or for a certain reason and the characters have to work around that in order to survive.

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