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JMLogliner
After killing its progeny as part of an initiation hunting family ritual, a man and his teenage son must protect themselves from a horrid beast that hunts in the dark and feeds upon human skin.
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I had to read this one twice.
After killing its progeny as part of an initiation hunting family ritual… When I read this the first time I thought the hunter had killed one of his own sons as part of a family hunting ritual.
The second time around I realized the father and son killed the beasts progeny.
As a result, I would change the beginning line to make the logline more clear
An example:
“When they kill the progeny of a horrid beast that hunts in the dark and feeds upon human skin. A father and son must…”
Agreed with Richiev.
Also, who is the main character father or son?
Thank you both for your reviews.
The main character is the teenager – at least the film is told on his point of view.
I had the same dilemma about the beginning of the logline. That’s why I chose the words “its”, as it is referring to the beast. But I guess I’ll go with a beginning as suggested by Richiev. It’s more straightforward.
With regards to the beast hunting only at night- are the father and son stuck somewhere they can’t easily get away from, or can the night time have more of a significance? I’m thinking of Quiet Place, Birdbox and It Comes at Night as examples of stories where the enemy attacks happen at a certain time or for a certain reason and the characters have to work around that in order to survive.