Cultures collide when a flat-footed reservist deployed as a guard befriends a rebellious enemy and must protect them from a sleepy small-town intent on financial gain from an influx of Japanese prisoners of war.
mobiuswestPenpusher
Cultures collide when a flat-footed reservist deployed as a guard befriends a rebellious enemy and must protect them from a sleepy small-town intent on financial gain from an influx of Japanese prisoners of war.
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It is difficult to tell whether your use of the word, ‘them’ is used as a plural, or if it is a gender identifier.
In other words, is there a single Japanese prisoner of war that the lead befriends? Or is he befriending the entire community within the internment camp?
If it is the latter and he befriends the entire Japanese community, you should still have a single prisoner with whom the lead has a deeper connection, then as the third act ramps up, you should put that person in danger.
Anyway, I believe this is a solid premise. Very interesting.
Richiev, thank you very much for this! You are correct the “them” is a single prisoner, so ‘ll rewrite this to try to reflect that in the logline. Thanks again!
Jim in Japan.
I figured out where the issue lies. You first used the word ‘enemy’ which can be both plural or singular, for instance in the war the Japanese (Plural) was the enemy. However, a single person could also be your enemy. Then after that, you use ‘Them’ which can be both singular an plural. So if you change the first description you can easily clarify.
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“Cultures collide when a flat-footed reservist deployed as a guard befriends a rebellious prisoner of war and must protect them from a sleepy small-town intent on financial gain from the local Japanese internment camp.”
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Hope that helped