When a zombie virus infects a small Southern town, a pregnant teen must fight the undead while hiding her condition from her conservative family.
slsmithLogliner
When a zombie virus infects a small Southern town, a pregnant teen must fight the undead while hiding her condition from her conservative family.
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Your logline implies two goals: fighting the undead and? keeping her pregnancy a secret which seems irrelevant in the face of town marauding zombies. Perhaps you can re-work it to show that keeping this secret is the teen’s internal character flaw which she will overcome at the end of the story. I would be interested to see another version of your logline. Hope this helps.
In the face of the zombie threat, it seems to me that hiding the pregnancy from her folks is the least of her worries . And her parents have more important issues to deal with, like merely staying alive.
On a weird note. I believe a zombie virus would be a virus that infects zombies and makes them sick. I don’t think that is what you mean by that line. How about this:
When a virus turn locals into zombies…
Considering the many Zombie movies already on offer, what will stand out is a twist on the tropes of the genre. In this case, you have a pregnant teenager as the undead fighting extraordinaire MC. Pregnancy could be a “hook”, as the handicap of carrying a big belly could prove interesting, not forgetting that she must protect her unborn child. However, I’m not sure this is enough to get the concept over the much needed “hook” edge. The concept may need something in addition, for it to stand out in such a crowded marketplace.
As the genre is so well known already, you can drop the first clause altogether, and simply replace it with; After a Zombie outbreak…
Otherwise agreed with the other comments, hiding her pregnancy doesn’t compare with staying alive in terms of stakes.