Supernova (version 2)
During a galactic war between humans and aliens, a soldier and his team discover something ominous buried on a planet that threatens the lives of both species.
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Sorry, but there is no story. What we have is an inciting incident.
And ‘something ominous’ is terribly lazy. You want us to believe that this is going to be the coolest thing since Alien or light sabers. But I bet you it isn’t. So there goes that promise.
The risk you run with all this vagueness is: I will fill in what first springs to mind. Too bad if that’s going to be a terrible clich?.
I’m guessing that the soldier and his team will have to kill the ‘something ominous’ … or make it kill the baddies first.
See? You wouldn’t want ME to complete your story! 🙂
This is definitely a hard one to write.
“something ominous” I admit was pretty lazy and vague. I just thought saying what it is would reveal too much, or it would be too confusing.
It`s especially hard when the ideas I have for the story involve 3 different threats or stakes at once, which makes it hard to fit into a logline and still make it about the main character, and without it being confusing or vague.
So when I write the logline, it only ends up being about one of the threats in it, which makes it sound clich?.
Sci-Fi`s are pretty hard to write loglines on.