The First Crusade
1095. Godfrey of Bouillon has been assigned by the pope to do the greatest task of his life.. Lead the Crusade to Jerusalum. 1097. Godfrey leads his men on a march from Costantinople (istanbul) to Nicaea. Godfrey attacks the City to the east while the other armies attack the south. Bouillon leaves Nicaea. Bouillons and Raymounds forces then advanced to Dorylaeum. Raymound army goes to camp but are attacked by turkish soldier. His army is slaughtered. Midday Godfrey sends 50 knights to rienforce Bohemund. The Battle continues until the turkish knights retreated. 1099. 2100 of the Crusaders went to fight the Mighty 20,000 turkish soldiers
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Not a logline. Enough said.
Assigned to lead the templars crusade through Jerusalem, a (weakness)** general and his fifty knights must fight a horde of twenty thousand turks during an ambush.? ?? (MAYBE) ??
dpg’s on it – for this entry and your other one. Take a squiz at the section of the site called “Write It” for some pointers.
As previously mentioned this dosn’t comply with the conventions of a logline therefore it is very hard to comment on as a logline. I have replied to your other post similarly but in any case best to check out this page: https://loglines.org/howto/
The only comment I can give here that may be helpful is about the period.
Period pieces are notoriously harder and more expensive to shoot than present day, so If you do choose a period piece be sure to have a good reason for it.
Best to clarify the story’s analogy of modern day events as the best period pieces reflect an aspect of modern day and comment on it. This is because the time separation allows a writer to criticise action and sentiment freely thanks to the lack of reference to a specific individual or group of people and avoid insulting anyone directly.
Ultimately it is a really good idea to have a bare bones definition of the story’s main character and main action for this purpose, in other words a logline.
Good luck Nir.