Planet Earth is under alien occupation by the Reptilian Armada and their High Commander Rigel, is in search of his future Queen Sasha. Bound by a prophecy; Rigel and Sasha will marry bringing forth a child blending the bloodlines and forming an alliance between both their planets.
cchagansPenpusher
Planet Earth is under alien occupation by the Reptilian Armada and their High Commander Rigel, is in search of his future Queen Sasha. Bound by a prophecy; Rigel and Sasha will marry bringing forth a child blending the bloodlines and forming an alliance between both their planets.
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cchagans, your logline for the story shouldn’t mention character names unless there is an historical reason or they happen to be someone we all know. Instead be sure to use adjectives to describe your protagonist and antagonist.
As a human, I don’t think I would give a crap about these factions that have just invaded and captured my planet. I want to root for someone who will drive them away. Otherwise, what’s the point on you setting this story on Earth?
In loglines for fiction, don’t use their names; rather describe their roles.
Also the logline seems to build the story around alien creatures. ?Why would humans want to watch a movie about alien creatures who get top billing, ?conquer humanity and compel them to follow their prophetic game plan? ?
If ‘Sasha’ is human, ?the story (And logline) should be written from her perspective, and she should be given a goal.
From what I’ve read it seems like you’re writing the High Commander as the main character. I agree with the others that Sasha should be the main character so that you can have your audience empathise with her, but at this point you need and event (inciting incident) that forces her to do an action. I think I could see this story being about Sasha trying to escape from a marriage that the alien race are trying to force upon her? Just an idea.