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SteeldownunderPenpusher
Posted: July 19, 20202020-07-19T10:58:21+10:00 2020-07-19T10:58:21+10:00In: Thriller

When a persistent novice realtor discovers her condescending boss is bankrolling his fancy lifestyle using client escrow funds, she hires an investigator to dig deeper, but he catches on and hires a hit-man to silence her.

Another try on my original log-line.

Title: Whistle While She Works

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    4 Reviews

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    1. Richiev Singularity
      2020-07-19T17:07:25+10:00Added an answer on July 19, 2020 at 5:07 pm

      “When her boss hires a hitman after she discovers he’s embezzled millions, a novice realtor, must survive the assassination attempts while searching for the smoking gun that will put her boss away.”

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      • Steeldownunder Penpusher
        2020-07-19T18:34:21+10:00Replied to answer on July 19, 2020 at 6:34 pm

        Hi Richiev,
        Nicely done, that’s a great way to look at it. I had not thought of that angle; it works! thank you! ‘Steeldownunder

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      • Scott Danzig Samurai
        2020-07-19T19:56:28+10:00Replied to answer on July 19, 2020 at 7:56 pm

        I think this reads a bit better:

        When she discovers her boss has embezzled millions, a novice realtor must evade his hitman while searching for the smoking gun that will put him away.

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    2. Mike Pedley Singularity
      2020-07-19T20:11:22+10:00Added an answer on July 19, 2020 at 8:11 pm

      Richiev’s and Scott’s versions work well. Only thing I’d consider changing is giving her a characteristic that suggests an arc for her.

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