A well trained female vampire slaying killing machine must go undercover as a vampire to contaminate a drug that two vampires are developing that will allow vampires to walk during the day time, but when she grows feelings towards one of them, things get complicated.t

Thanks monimata. I've been working on this treatment for a month figuring out the main story beats and finally came up with this. I was almost going to give up on it and maybe work on something else. You basically nail what I'm going for which is good but I want this to be a comedy. I'm trying to figure out how to write the logline to make it a comedy.

Your logline really does help me because it was clunky like you said. The stakes is the human race so I'm glad you got it.

Romcom? I would have never guessed from your logline.Your logline can be streamlined and wordsmithed a bit to avoid the multiple "vampires" and the clunkiness. But I think you have a potentially different take on the vampire trope: Underworld meets Vamps?

Protag - female vampire slayer
Antag - vampire scientists/vampires in general
Goal - prevent that daywalker drug from being developed
Stakes - the human race?
Hook - she falls in love with one of the vampire scientists

My take:

When a beautiful warrior infiltrates a dangerous underworld to prevent the manufacture of the dreaded "daywalker" drug, she unexpectedly falls in love with one of the scientists. Problem is - she's human and he's a vampire.