When the mentor of ruthless assassin/lone wolf cop is murdered, the assassin/cop bands his team of skilled corrupt cops/best friends together to find the one responsible.
LeviathanSamurai
When the mentor of ruthless assassin/lone wolf cop is murdered, the assassin/cop bands his team of skilled corrupt cops/best friends together to find the one responsible.
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The logline itself is too wordy. You can simply reduce the main character to “ruthless assassin” without the lone wolf part.
Also rather than say “skilled corrupt cops/best friends” (why corrupt cops?) you can say “assemble a team of old friends”.
The main issue is making this stand out. It’s a typical revenge thriller about a hitman/assassin hunting down the killer of his mentor, which is getting to the point of overdone.? What stands out about this one? What character arc would you see for this assassin? Is there a unique villain? Is there a hook? Some kind of subversion to this trope? The best subversions are contradicting or nuanced characters. I don’t believe “corrupt cop” works because they don’t sound like allies we’d get behind.
From the Logline, the ruthless assassin and his corrupt cops buddies do not sound like a very sympathetic hero.
Are they the bad guys?
if so, then who is the hero? Why did he kill the mentor and what is happening to him?
a lot of questions that the Logline does not even start to address.
Agreed with The_CNI and Valentin.
I’ll add that you’de be better off specifying his goal, he doesn’t just want to find the one who’s responsible, he wants to kill, incarcerate, beat up the murderer. It may seem obvious that he wants to do something bad to the murderer but you still need to specify the goal in the logline.
“When his by-the-book mentor is murdered, a dirty cop vows to use every trick in the book to take down the corrupt DEA agent responsible and avenge the only good person he ever knew”
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I could see this as a dark ‘mission impossible’
The person who is murdered is an actual good person.?
The protagonist is a dirty cop?
But the bad guy is an even dirtier law enforcement officer (DEA, FBI or maybe internal affairs)
So the dirty cop and his dirty cop friends go on a mission to plant evidence and frame the dirty DEA agent (Or whoever your bad guy is) for the crime he actually committed.?
Possible title: Dirty
A corrupt cop and his friend avenge the murder of his mentor but….. so he must …… to ……..
You have a setup. But the story isn?t in your Logline.
People are right about it being wordy. I just didn’t know how to put it down the way I wanted, but this is just a rough draft anyway, so I came up with a better one.
After an assassin mentor is killed, his cop student bands his friends together to hunt down the person responsible, a corrupt ATF Agent, who is out to destroy the city.
Still may be a little words with assassin mentor and cop student, drawing unnecessary attention to the character, but I was trying to emphasize around the two main characters. It does still sounds like a typical revenge film, but I’ve seen plenty of movies with the same loglines that have completely different meanings behind each of them.
I like your title, Richiev, if I make it a tv series. I might have to call it that because everyone gets dirty in the cop vs cop or cop vs agent movies, so that would fit in perfectly.
Also, don’t use / three times like that. It’s too much. Matter of fact, I wouldn’t use it at all, IMO.