Penpusher
Posted: 2018-06-16T22:31:58+10:00 In:

In a world of dream addicts, a washed up detective stumbles across a murder within a dream and must delve further into addiction to solve it.

In a world of dream addicts, a washed up detective stumbles across a murder within a dream and must delve further into addiction to solve it.
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    6 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      Echoes of “Inception”.? ?Which raises a number of questions.? Whose dream is it?? If it isn’t his own dream, how did he get inside of someone else’s dreamscape?? And how does the detective? know that murder in the dream is a memory residue — not a wish fulfillment?? How can he tell the difference?

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    2. Uberwriter

      Agreed with dpg

      Also, It’s just a dream. I’m missing the stakes here. Your logline needs to spell out what it means for someone to get killed in a dream.

      Dream addiction sounds cool though 🙂
      Good Luck!!

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    3. Singularity

      “When his mentor is murdered, a washed-up detective follows the clues to? a dark underworld where addicts use a new drug to enter into the world of dreams.”

      Possible title: –Dream Police–

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    4. Singularity

      Daryl:

      Thanks for the clarification.? As some who has a vivid? and varied “night” life? (lucid dreams), the subject matter is of more than casual interest.

      I think you have an interesting idea, but I suggest you re-engineer the logline to focus on the black market for memories, the raw material for dreams.? Then in the script introduce and work in the dream work.

      Why?? Because I fear that if you lead off with a focus on the dreams, it will create the impression that the story is a knock off of “Inception”.? ? That was certainly my first impression.? And first impressions matter.? In fact, with loglines you only get one chance, a few seconds, to make the right impression.

      Your concept is somewhat similar –but? more than that.? It’s different than “Inception”.? And more of the same — but different? — is what movie makers are looking for.? I suggest that the original twist, the story hook is the black market in memories.?

      One further suggestion for the story (if you haven’t already thought of it). Turn the incriminating memory/dreams into a McGuffin — something the bad guy is trying to locate, too.? Too eliminate? the clues, the evidence of his guilt by killing off whoever bought the memory.

      fwiw

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    5. Singularity

      Really like the concept with this one. I wonder whether making the detective the one who witnesses the murder(s) might make him a stronger protagonist. Maybe consider making it a series of murders (everyone loves a serial killer) and the detective has to figure out not only who the killer is but why is he the one having the dreams:

      After witnessing a series of brutal murders in his dreams, a washed-up detective must plunge into the depths of the Memory Black Market to uncover the killer’s identity and his connection to the crimes before the killer strikes again.

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    6. Samurai

      In a world where memories are the new drug, when a detective stumbles on the memory of a real murder, he must delve into the depraved world of torture memories to help rescue the trafficked victims.

      That reminds me of the beginning of the movie?strange days (underrated movie by the way) where memories of dying people are sold. It is a great concept and it would be great to bring the same sleazy underworld investigated in the?movie?Tightrope?with Clint Eastwood.

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