King Rossi, a famous New York City criminal who has a great interest in football and World Cup, gives an order to a group of professional thieves to steal the Original Cup from the Fifa Museum.
joker2008Logliner
King Rossi, a famous New York City criminal who has a great interest in football and World Cup, gives an order to a group of professional thieves to steal the Original Cup from the Fifa Museum.
Share
Loglines are written from the point of view of the lead character?
Who is the lead character?
Also, this is just the set up to the story; the story presumably would be about the robbery and the plot twists and turns that happen along the way.
As Richiev said, who is the protagonist? If it’s King Rossi (don’t need to include names in a logline – just a characteristic) then does he just sit back and wait for the thieves to deliver the cup? Where’s his conflict? What’s his story?
Who/what are the antagonistic forces? Who is trying to stop the thieves? Police? Rival criminals?
Make the reader feel like this isn’t just an ordinary job. You need a hook.