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Andrew BatesLogliner
Posted: September 6, 20122012-09-06T11:54:26+10:00 2012-09-06T11:54:26+10:00In: Examples

When a high school chemistry teacher struggling financially is diagnosed with cancer and health insurance wont cover the cost of treatment, he turns to cooking and selling crystal meth to secure a financial future for his family

Breaking Bad

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    7 Reviews

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    1. Nicholas Andrew Halls Samurai
      2012-09-06T16:02:47+10:00Added an answer on September 6, 2012 at 4:02 pm

      Nailed it.

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    2. Filmstar Penpusher
      2012-09-07T15:18:14+10:00Added an answer on September 7, 2012 at 3:18 pm

      it’s a bit long tho, isn’t it? What happened to 25 words?

      When a chemistry teacher gets terminal cancer and insurance won’t cover the treatment he turns to cooking crystal meth to secure his family financially…

      ?

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    3. Filmstar Penpusher
      2012-09-07T15:20:29+10:00Added an answer on September 7, 2012 at 3:20 pm

      I don’t like ‘family financially’ tho…

      When a chemistry teacher gets terminal cancer and insurance won?t cover the treatment he turns to cooking crystal meth to secure his family’s future…

      I think we can get it’s about finances without stating it…can we ?

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    4. Filmstar Penpusher
      2012-09-07T15:40:45+10:00Added an answer on September 7, 2012 at 3:40 pm

      Or…

      When a chemistry teacher gets terminal cancer and insurance won’t cover the treatment he turns to cooking crystal meth…

      (isn’t that in itself intriguing?)

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    5. Andrew Bates Logliner
      2012-09-07T16:36:21+10:00Added an answer on September 7, 2012 at 4:36 pm

      My original logline is long.
      just refering to the above logline “he turns to cooking crystal meth” doesn’t sit right, sounds like he’s turning to drugs and not saying why…

      When a chemistry teacher struggling financially is diagnosed with cancer and health insurance wont cover treatment, he turns to cooking and selling crystal meth to secure his family’s future

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    6. Filmstar Penpusher
      2012-09-09T12:18:32+10:00Added an answer on September 9, 2012 at 12:18 pm

      great, altho I think we can lose ‘and selling’ ( we can guess that, if he’s cooking and he’s doing it for his family’s future).

      Actually, originally he starts to cover the costs of the treatment right – $70,000 ? His family’s future comes later…

      We could also lose ‘struggling financially’ – we gather that if he has to start cooking meth to cover the treatment – it’s stating things twice….

      so…

      When a chemistry teacher is diagnosed with cancer and health insurance won’t cough up, he notches up a recipe for the purest ice on the planet, to cover the costs…

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    7. 2012-10-03T07:04:00+10:00Added an answer on October 3, 2012 at 7:04 am

      breaking bad bitch!!

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