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LeviathanSamurai
Posted: March 4, 20192019-03-04T13:20:43+10:00 2019-03-04T13:20:43+10:00In: Horror

Revision 2: After a miraculous survival of a meteor shower, an elite leader must get his team to the engine room of a high speed moving train, loaded with flesh eating demons, before it crashes.

Revision 2: After a miraculous survival of a meteor shower, an elite leader must get his team to the engine room of a high speed moving train, loaded with flesh eating demons, before it crashes.
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    1. Richiev Singularity
      2019-03-04T13:44:42+10:00Added an answer on March 4, 2019 at 1:44 pm

      “When the passengers turn into flesh-eating demons, a special forces commando and his team must fight their way to the trains engine room to stop the train so they and the survivors can escape.”?

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    2. Mike Pedley Singularity
      2019-03-04T18:39:16+10:00Added an answer on March 4, 2019 at 6:39 pm

      As in Richiev’s example, you can scrap the meteor shower. It doesn’t seem to have any bearing on the story. Also noted in Richiev’s version is a purpose for stopping the train “so they and the survivors can escape”. There are stakes and this makes the story compelling. I think in yours (at the moment) I’m not sure I care about whether they win or lose. I need to want them to win!

      This elite leader… can you give us more information about him? What’s his journey?

      Is this team conveniently on the train at the start? Or do they come along to kill the demons?

      Fwiw – I really like the idea of setting an action/horror film on a train. Low production value too.

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