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A neurotic actor, struggling to perform in a Chekhov play, has his soul temporarily extracted and rents a Russian one. Success– rave reviews! Now he must find and reclaim his soul which has been stolen and implanted in someone else.
As I indicated, this is not an easy film to logline. I originally thought only to post a logline with the story hook.? Just the 1st sentence that lays down the set up: A neurotic actor, struggling to perform in a Chekhov play, has his soul temporarily extracted and rents a Russian one. The 2nd senteRead more
As I indicated, this is not an easy film to logline. I originally thought only to post a logline with the story hook.? Just the 1st sentence that lays down the set up:
A neurotic actor, struggling to perform in a Chekhov play, has his soul temporarily extracted and rents a Russian one.
The 2nd sentence refers to the MPR moment.
Actually, the first sentence doesn’t really convey how the plot unfolds.? Here’s the sequence of plot beats:
1]INITIAL SITUATION: the actor is floundering in rehearsals to play Uncle Vanya.
2]INCITING INCIDENT: At tip from his agent about a New Yorker article on soul extraction directs him to a consultation.
3] DEBATE AND INDECISION: After learning more and overcoming his doubts and concerns…
4]END OF ACT ONE: He crosses the threshold, has his ineffectual soul extracted and stored.
5]BUT (complication):? Not having a soul to put into the role only makes his performance worse.
See less6] In desperation, he rents the soul of a female Russian poet.
7] Now he’s able to give a soulful performance. Success!
8]BUT (complication): he develops an allergic reaction: the Russian poet’s soul is too great to dwell in a mediocre person such as the actor.? So he must return it and regain his own soul.
9]MPR:? He goes to retrieve his soul from storage, discovers it’s gone.
Forced out of a cloistered life after his employer dies, an illiterate simpleton gardener becomes a media celebrity and Washington influencer after a dying billionaire mistakes his gardening advice as metaphorical words of economic wisdom.
I would like to remark on the strategy I used to arrive at the version I posted.The general rule is that a logline should be no longer than 25 words in length.? But, of course, there are always exceptions, outliers.? Loglines that require more than 30 words are a particular challenge. (Loglines thatRead more
I would like to remark on the strategy I used to arrive at the version I posted.
The general rule is that a logline should be no longer than 25 words in length.? But, of course, there are always exceptions, outliers.? Loglines that require more than 30 words are a particular challenge. (Loglines that exceed 40 words are a problem? –? a fatal flaw. A logline longer than 40 words is DOA — dead on arrival.)
So the question is: how best to craft a logline for scripts and story ideas that are longer?? My answer is:? deliver the story hook within the first 25 words.
The story hook? for “Being There” is how a simpleton gardener becomes a media celebrity and Washington influencer.? My first rough drafts for a logline followed the sequence of events.? And so:
His employer’s death forces a illiterate simpleton out of his cloistered life into the world where a politically powerful but dying billionaire mistakes him as a sage economist transforming him into a celebrity and influential Washington player.
Well, at 37 words it stays under the 40 word ceiling and, less or more, conveys what the story is about.? But it contains a serious flaw:? the reader has to slog through 28 words to find out what the story hook is.? (And I am rabid on the point that the story hook is the most important element in a logline.) So I reworked the logline? until I could plant the story hook before the 25th word , that is,? state it within the generally accepted maximum logline length.
In the version posted, the story hook is inserted before word 22.? I violated the letter of the “law” with a 35 word logline, but observed the “spirit” by getting the story hook within the 1st 25 words.
Mission accomplished.
fwiw
See lessA psychiatrist must confront doubts about his profession and himself while reluctantly treating a 17 year old boy who blinded 6 horses.
Tatum:The nature of the crime, that the boy blinded 6 horses, is central to the plot and a key story hook.? In fact, it was a report of just such a crime, a young man blinding horses, that hooked the the interest of writer Peter Shaffer in the 1970's.? It was the inciting incident that inspired himRead more
Tatum:
The nature of the crime, that the boy blinded 6 horses, is central to the plot and a key story hook.? In fact, it was a report of just such a crime, a young man blinding horses, that hooked the the interest of writer Peter Shaffer in the 1970’s.? It was the inciting incident that inspired him to write the widely acclaimed play and subsequent film.?? Which is why I included it in the logline.
And I believe it is more accurate to say that the shrink is plagued by doubts rather than ethics.? Doubts about the efficacy of modern psychiatry and by his own personal failures.? Those doubts are the springboard for philosophical monologues exploring the theme.
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