1. Posted: October 21, 2015In:

    When a gang of street kids are trapped in an abandoned high-rise by armed vigilantes, a homeless veteran must overcome his trauma or let the children die.

    Knightrider Mentor

    I like it, I get a sense of the story, the acts, the character and the location. What could be a point of difference between this and films like The Raid or Dredd where both are working their way up levels of a highrise... that is down to you, but what those movies prove is the idea works, and in thRead more

    I like it, I get a sense of the story, the acts, the character and the location.

    What could be a point of difference between this and films like The Raid or Dredd where both are working their way up levels of a highrise… that is down to you, but what those movies prove is the idea works, and in the business a proven concept is almost as good as a franchise.

    I wish you the best of luck.

    I know some people dislike the term trauma, I don’t mind it so much, but I get the sense it maybe a little vague, but still think it is OK… Oh another thing, I would give your character a fear of heights, much like Jaws where the MC had a fear of water.

    See less
    • 0
  2. Posted: October 16, 2015In:

    Based on true events, an African rises to become a samurai in the service of 16th century Japan?s most powerful warlord and aids him is his quest to unify Japan under one ruler.

    dpg Singularity

    If he was a slave, I think it ought to be included in the logline to?highlight? the extraordinary arc of his story, the difference? between where he started in terms of his status -- as a slave-- ?and where he ended up, as a samurai.? So that the logline reads something like:The true story of an AfrRead more

    If he was a slave, I think it ought to be included in the logline to?highlight? the extraordinary arc of his story, the difference? between where he started in terms of his status — as a slave– ?and where he ended up, as a samurai.? So that the logline reads something like:

    The true story of an African slave who won his freedom and?fought as a?samurai?for Japan’s most powerful warlord to?unify the country in the 16th century. (29 words)

    I think this is a great story with a strong hook.???It is definitely a story I would pay to see on the ?silver screen. ?Best wishes.

    See less
    • 0
  3. Posted: October 15, 2015In:

    When a homeless amputee who lost the right side of his head and body is chased by a crippled criminal who appears to be his missing half, he must overwhelm him to discover the origin of their condition and become a full man.

    Neer Shelter Singularity

    Not sure how this will look, two halves of the same man hopping after each other on one leg each?Can you elaborate on the basic logic of the world the premise is in?Also what is the plot what does the homeless person want? Is it to become whole again or is there something else?

    Not sure how this will look, two halves of the same man hopping after each other on one leg each?

    Can you elaborate on the basic logic of the world the premise is in?

    Also what is the plot what does the homeless person want? Is it to become whole again or is there something else?

    See less
    • 0