1. Posted: February 4, 2020In:

    Once an insecure sexy convict starts dating a professional boxer, that gives her the world and change her for the better she never expected. A childhood friend tracks her down in order to confess love for her, and she is left with a torn decision choosing between a long time friend and the man of her dreams. Les Be Honest   Don’t know if better, I’ll keep trying. However, seems a bit generic aye? not interesting enough i think.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    Everything is generic at the heart of it. You can dump so much and start lean. I notice Her used a lot. So not 100% sure of everyone?s sexuality. Box may imply male (just a more common gender). After escaping poverty and building a life with her rich boxer boyfriend a woman is contacted by a woman fRead more

    Everything is generic at the heart of it. You can dump so much and start lean.

    I notice Her used a lot. So not 100% sure of everyone?s sexuality. Box may imply male (just a more common gender).

    After escaping poverty and building a life with her rich boxer boyfriend a woman is contacted by a woman from her past that she is still in love with.

    Everyone can tell what happens next.

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  2. Posted: February 3, 2020In:

    After feeling doubtful of finding love again, a sexy ex convict finds interests in a pro boxer who returns the same feelings, but their love is intercepted when her ex best friend, who’s a former investigator responsible for taking her in the first place, seeks out to find her and confess her feelings before it’s too late. possible title: “Les Be Honest”

    Richiev Singularity

    This is a bit confusing to read. I think the starting point would be, what is the lead character's actual goal? What is standing in the way, and what will the lead character do to overcome this obstacle. Because from reading your logline, the investigator seems to be the one with the goal: To win baRead more

    This is a bit confusing to read.

    I think the starting point would be, what is the lead character’s actual goal? What is standing in the way, and what will the lead character do to overcome this obstacle.

    Because from reading your logline, the investigator seems to be the one with the goal: To win back the ex-convict… and has a plan: to confess his love. But what is standing in his way is: he’s the one that put her in prison…

    So the inciting incident would be, his sexy ex is getting out of prison, his goal is to win her back, and his action is, to confess his love.

    So if your lead character is the Ex-convict, what is her inciting incident, what is her goal, and what is standing in her way?

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  3. Posted: January 14, 2020In:

    A married man begins dating a woman via lucid dream technology, but things get strange when she starts appearing when he?s awake.

    yqwertz Mentor

    I like the concept, but I think it needs tightening. What do you mean by "things get strange"? What happens after the man sees this woman in real life is going to make the difference between a comedy, a drama, a thriller or an adventure. Even though you put this idea in the "adventure" genre, from tRead more

    I like the concept, but I think it needs tightening.

    What do you mean by “things get strange”? What happens after the man sees this woman in real life is going to make the difference between a comedy, a drama, a thriller or an adventure. Even though you put this idea in the “adventure” genre, from the way the logline is written at present, it could be almost any thing else. Give us some hint about what happens when “things get strange”.

    The other question I have is whether or not she recognizes him and was having the same dream? If not, you’ve got the basis for a stalker film where things could really get strange, but in a bad way. If she does recognize him and was having the same dream, you’ve got the basis for a romantic comedy.

    The logline needs to give the reader some indication of which way the film is headed.

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