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Thee Unknown God – Some believe We are One with all there is, connected to the spiritual realms, forces of Nature, animals and are born to do good unto others. But, some choose a dark path and when the darkness of the God of War and Roman Empire grows strong, what brings those of the Oneness, three women and a man together to rise up against them?
I love the world you've created and the different points of conflict that you've developed. Who is the main character? I've also learnt that loglines aren't normally used to create mystery, and shouldn't be a question. This is definitely a story worth exploring though.
I love the world you’ve created and the different points of conflict that you’ve developed. Who is the main character? I’ve also learnt that loglines aren’t normally used to create mystery, and shouldn’t be a question. This is definitely a story worth exploring though.
See lessWhen he is sent to investigate a billionaire with a deadly artifact, in in a world where the line between natural and supernatural is growing thin, a preteen magical spy must return the artifact in return for medicine for his dying sister; but when his cover blown, it must learn to work with his arrogant rival in order to fight his way to the mission’s end before the artifact destroys the city.
An intriguing concept! As for the Logline itself, I do think that some of the information should be condensed and perhaps rearranged. For example, start with the main character and then establish the event which leads to his preceding action. Something like, 'A pre teen spy with an aptitude for magiRead more
An intriguing concept! As for the Logline itself, I do think that some of the information should be condensed and perhaps rearranged. For example, start with the main character and then establish the event which leads to his preceding action. Something like, ‘A pre teen spy with an aptitude for magic has his cover blown by a nefarious billionaire and must escape his wrath with the help of his long time rival.’ or something to that effect. I personally think a logline works best when it establishes the stakes of the characters or their conflict on a personal level, instead of the bigger picture, because if an audience can be hooked by the personal stakes, that the bigger picture stakes will become a natural progression as the story goes on. Please keep developing it, this sounds fun!
See lessWhen the feisty pirate emperor kidnaps their kingdom, an abominable feline-human boy and a weak princess must find someone in the “awfully violent” neighboring empire closed enough to accuse him to the emperor’s dubious mother before marrying their queen in a wrestling presentation.
Not clear what the story is, who these characters are, or what they're doing...not even a proper sentence. What is the goal here?
Not clear what the story is, who these characters are, or what they’re doing…not even a proper sentence. What is the goal here?
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