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A wannabe activist who aspires to join a larger action group gets a job at a mysterious energy company he believes is involved in illegal activities.
Sounds like a promising idea! Just make sure to be more specific in your wording. He needs to have a clear outer goal (want) that is properly described in your logline. And yes, "environmental activist" sounds better than just "activist", because it gives the reader a clear vision of the main characRead more
Sounds like a promising idea!
Just make sure to be more specific in your wording. He needs to have a clear outer goal (want) that is properly described in your logline.
And yes, “environmental activist” sounds better than just “activist”, because it gives the reader a clear vision of the main character and his background.
See lessWhen Fiona discovers she is half-angel, haf-demon, she is got up in the war between angels and demons over the human race and must choose a path to follow that will destroy or save the human race
Check out the formula tab to help with formatting. Check spelling and grammar too. We don't need names in a logline. It adds nothing but an unnecessary word. We don't learn anything about a character from their name so it's far more important to give us a word that tells us something interesting. MaRead more
Check out the formula tab to help with formatting. Check spelling and grammar too.
We don’t need names in a logline. It adds nothing but an unnecessary word. We don’t learn anything about a character from their name so it’s far more important to give us a word that tells us something interesting.
Making a decision (save or destroy the human race) is not a good goal. Imagine watching someone decide something. All the action is happening inside their head and it could take 10 seconds or it could take a year. You need to give her a visual goal because film is a visual medium.
If she’s half-angel/half-demon, what’s at stake for her if the human race is destroyed? Has she been brought up as a human? Why her? Why is she the only one who can make this decision?
I feel like we need more specifics to really understand the story here and it would benefit from following the formula recommended on this site.
See lessThe mixed breed Believing to be a human being and having a normal life with her ?parents?, Fiona coming back from seeing her best friend off took a new road to her home only to be got up between the above world and underworld clashes over the human race thereby finding out she was not a human but a mixed breed of both angel and demon and must choose the path to follow that will decide the fate of the human race.
There are a lot of words in this logline,? a lot of set up, and yet I can't picture the plot in my head. What is the actual story about? Because right now the only thing the lead character does is 'choose', and I don't see how that will take up two hours of screen time? Something along the lines of:Read more
There are a lot of words in this logline,? a lot of set up, and yet I can’t picture the plot in my head.
What is the actual story about?
Because right now the only thing the lead character does is ‘choose’, and I don’t see how that will take up two hours of screen time?
Something along the lines of: “When she discovers she is half-angel, half-demon, a (Give a description) must (Do this thing) or (This bad thing) will happen to the human race.”
See less