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After leaving her friend’s home, Fiona sees a bright white light and follows where it leads only getting entangled in the battle between angels and demons over humans, in the process finding out she is a mixed-breed of both supernatural beings.
When she discovers she is a mixed-breed of both angel and demon, a (give us a description of character) must (do this thing) in order to (Prevent this bad thing from happening)
When she discovers she is a mixed-breed of both angel and demon, a (give us a description of character) must (do this thing) in order to (Prevent this bad thing from happening)
See lessA wannabe activist who aspires to join a larger action group gets a job at a mysterious energy company he believes is involved in illegal activities.
Sounds like a promising idea! Just make sure to be more specific in your wording. He needs to have a clear outer goal (want) that is properly described in your logline. And yes, "environmental activist" sounds better than just "activist", because it gives the reader a clear vision of the main characRead more
Sounds like a promising idea!
Just make sure to be more specific in your wording. He needs to have a clear outer goal (want) that is properly described in your logline.
And yes, “environmental activist” sounds better than just “activist”, because it gives the reader a clear vision of the main character and his background.
See lessWhen Fiona discovers she is half-angel, haf-demon, she is got up in the war between angels and demons over the human race and must choose a path to follow that will destroy or save the human race
Check out the formula tab to help with formatting. Check spelling and grammar too. We don't need names in a logline. It adds nothing but an unnecessary word. We don't learn anything about a character from their name so it's far more important to give us a word that tells us something interesting. MaRead more
Check out the formula tab to help with formatting. Check spelling and grammar too.
We don’t need names in a logline. It adds nothing but an unnecessary word. We don’t learn anything about a character from their name so it’s far more important to give us a word that tells us something interesting.
Making a decision (save or destroy the human race) is not a good goal. Imagine watching someone decide something. All the action is happening inside their head and it could take 10 seconds or it could take a year. You need to give her a visual goal because film is a visual medium.
If she’s half-angel/half-demon, what’s at stake for her if the human race is destroyed? Has she been brought up as a human? Why her? Why is she the only one who can make this decision?
I feel like we need more specifics to really understand the story here and it would benefit from following the formula recommended on this site.
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