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After her village is massacred, a woman travels to a remote temple to train so she can destroy her enemies and avenge her people.
You?ve actually got three goals for your hero - to travel, to train, and to avenge. You can have all of those in your story but your logline needs to focus on the primary goal. And, as others have said, tell us what?s at stake if the hero fails.
You?ve actually got three goals for your hero – to travel, to train, and to avenge. You can have all of those in your story but your logline needs to focus on the primary goal. And, as others have said, tell us what?s at stake if the hero fails.
See lessWhen a nine-year-old, native American boy is struck by lightning and initiated to be the next tribal shaman, he must battle his vengeful Uncle who murdered his father, and protect the world from the dark forces that seek to destroy it.
I think Dkpough1 has said it all! I just wanted to say I'm intrigued by this concept and would want to watch this movie. Good luck with your project. :)
I think Dkpough1 has said it all! I just wanted to say I’m intrigued by this concept and would want to watch this movie. Good luck with your project. 🙂
See lessA boy shaman begins training and must battle for his life with the vengeful Uncle who murdered his father.
Why must he battle for his life? The inciting incident ?seems to be his uncle murdering his father but his goal is seemingly just to battle for his life NOT seek retribution. It's a passive goal and a protagonist should be proactive. When you say "boy" how old are we talking here? 4 or 14? Boy is aRead more
Why must he battle for his life? The inciting incident ?seems to be his uncle murdering his father but his goal is seemingly just to battle for his life NOT seek retribution. It’s a passive goal and a protagonist should be proactive. When you say “boy” how old are we talking here? 4 or 14? Boy is a very loose term so I would consider being a bit more specific. Why is he a shaman? At the moment, if you remove that word the logline remains the same so why is it there?
What are the uncle’s motives? There’s a bit of a Hamlet thing going on here – is that intentional? The uncle’s motives need to be understandable even if the audience doesn’t approve – he can’t just be killing the father and trying to kill the son for the sake of it.
Ultimately, I think we need a bit more story here to understand what’s actually going on.
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