1. Posted: September 14, 2017In:

    In order to save his mother, a young man embarks in an adventure to get proof of a friendly monster’s existence.

    Jackalboy11 Logliner

    To save his sick Mother, a Young Boy? must get proof of the?existence of a ?being not known to science, so he travels far and wide and brings back a friendly Monster to everyone's surprise. Not great but you get the idea to simplify it.?? I hope.

    To save his sick Mother, a Young Boy? must get proof of the?existence of a ?being not known to science, so he travels far and wide and brings back a friendly Monster to everyone’s surprise.

    Not great but you get the idea to simplify it.?? I hope.

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  2. Posted: August 27, 2017In:

    After sneaking out to attend the party of the year only to have things go horribly wrong, the straight-laced daughter of the police chief must employ criminal tactics to avoid being caught by the cops.

    dpg Singularity

    "Criminal tactics" seems vague. ?What exactly are the "criminal antics" she must engage in to get back home? ?Grand theft auto... assault and battery... murder?

    “Criminal tactics” seems vague. ?What exactly are the “criminal antics” she must engage in to get back home? ?Grand theft auto… assault and battery… murder?

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  3. Posted: August 23, 2017In:

    The naive daughter of the police chief gets a taste of criminal life after using her father?s car to sneak out and setting out to steal it back from car thieves before he or any other cop finds out.

    Best Answer
    Neer Shelter Singularity

    Agreed with Richiev, the wording is standing in the way of clarity. Are the stakes her father losing his beloved car or her coping the blame for the car being stolen?

    Agreed with Richiev, the wording is standing in the way of clarity.

    Are the stakes her father losing his beloved car or her coping the blame for the car being stolen?

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