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During the early 1970s London, an English Police officer is framed for corruption charges and goes on the run to Africa where the Russian KGB recruit him; after years of seductive traitorous espionage, he falls in love with a Bulgarian Woman and in order to marry her, he must escape the iron grips of the KGB and face his corrupt past.
A London Police officer framed for corruption during the late seventies becomes a KGB spy, but when he falls in love in Bulgaria, he must escape the agency and return to London to face his accuser.
A London Police officer framed for corruption during the late seventies becomes a KGB spy, but when he falls in love in Bulgaria, he must escape the agency and return to London to face his accuser.
See lessIn a world where magic is controlled by a corrupt few, an outcast with elemental powers must join a rag tag group of well meaning historians to face a powerful magi and release control of magic back to the populace.
The latest draft of the logline is a huge improvement.I suggest the following: After an evil sorcerer puts her father into a comma, an anti magic activist must usurp the magic hording leader of the ruling Mage council.The mention of an aging historian has little impact on the story, as the historianRead more
The latest draft of the logline is a huge improvement.
I suggest the following:
After an evil sorcerer puts her father into a comma, an anti magic activist must usurp the magic hording leader of the ruling Mage council.
The mention of an aging historian has little impact on the story, as the historian is an ally they don’t need to be in the logline.
The lack of antagonist and the arbitrary nature of the inciting incident weakened the concept, therefore I added in an evil sorcerer as the cause. Also if she tries to over-through an entire class of people she would need to amass an army much like in the Hunger Games, unless that is described in the logline best to specify a single antagonist for her to fight against.
The lack of inner journey made the story rather superficial, therefore I add a description of the MC as an anti magic person as it puts her in direct conflict with her external journey of searching for magic powers. This adds depth to her character and adds interest. Further to that, describing the MC as a “…rebellious freedom fighter…” is confusing, with out more detail it is unclear who or what she is rebelling against or what freedom and for whom she is fighting for.
See lessA whimsical young woman phases into a fire realm being purged of magic and struggles balancing her world and saving the world of her dreams.
I agree with dpg be more specific in your descriptions. Plus give us some goals. ?Tells us the story. What is purging, who is doing it what must she do to save it. ?Or what is her eventual goal that will save it. A whimsical young woman must capture the xxx to defeat the xxx to save a world exists oRead more
I agree with dpg be more specific in your descriptions. Plus give us some goals. ?Tells us the story.
What is purging, who is doing it what must she do to save it. ?Or what is her eventual goal that will save it.
A whimsical young woman must capture the xxx to defeat the xxx to save a world exists only in her dreams.
Okay not your story, but you can see how it sets out the beats of the story.
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