1. Posted: October 17, 2015In:

    When two personalities, one a meek family man the other a covert assassin, discover they share the same mind and body, they must find the organisation that merged them together to reverse the process before the increased brain activity overloads their mind.

    sloanpeterson Logliner

    Very interesting. ?Makes me want to know more and how you may have pulled this concept off. ?It's a little wordy though. ?I will attempt to shorten it: When a meek family man and a covert assassin discover they share the same body, they must force a mysterious organization to reverse it before the iRead more

    Very interesting. ?Makes me want to know more and how you may have pulled this concept off. ?It’s a little wordy though. ?I will attempt to shorten it: When a meek family man and a covert assassin discover they share the same body, they must force a mysterious organization to reverse it before the increased brain activity overloads their mind.
    I also wonder what this mind overload would mean. ?Would it kill him? ?Or make him insane? ?It might be worth noting the stakes.

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  2. Posted: October 9, 2015In:

    When every dream in a town is caught in a magic dreamcatcher, the girl who owns it must escape from people who wants to kill her beacuse she’s seen their dreams and then destroy the dreamcatcher.

    dpg Singularity

    I think the premise has promise but...First of all, the girl is only ?reacting?not acting, and only in a negative sense. The logline portrays her as only?escaping?-- running away -- with?no hint of what she wants to run toward.? Which is to ask, given her access to the dreams of others, what becomesRead more

    I think the premise has promise but…

    First of all, the girl is only ?reacting?not acting, and only in a negative sense. The logline portrays her as only?escaping?– running away — with?no hint of what she wants to run toward.? Which is to ask, given her access to the dreams of others, what becomes her objective goal?? What does she want to do about the knowledge she has acquired?

    And I suggest it might be better if??she is the dream catcher.? She doesn’t own a “dream?machine”.? Maybe she wakes up one morning and discovers she?has acquired the innate ability to know other people’s dreams as well as remember her own.? Or suddenly, after years of vivid and lucid dreaming, she can’t remember any of her dreams — only the dreams of others.?? Whatever,? make it a personal endowment, not a prop.

    But either way you go, the question comes up in my mind:? how does everyone else know that she is privy to their dreams?? Is she so foolish, so indiscrete as to let them know?? Or is it a secret that leaks out?? And what is it about their dreams that her knowing them makes them so angry that they want to kill her?

    As I said, I think the premise is promising but suggest it needs to be refined.

    fwiw

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  3. Posted: October 3, 2015In:

    When her brother?s diary mysteriously appears at her doorstep, an art forgery investigator uses it to decipher location of stolen diamonds. She also discovers the truth about her father who masterminded an international heist and embarks on a hunt for the treasure during which she finds her family lost decades ago.

    Karel Segers Logliner

    I just noticed this conversation, and would like to add that you can 'vote up' reviews. This way, you can support what you believe is a valuable contribution from anyone. (Once a user collects 2,500 points, they can also 'vote down' a review. )And Rafael, you can give someone the highest kudos by seRead more

    I just noticed this conversation, and would like to add that you can ‘vote up’ reviews.
    This way, you can support what you believe is a valuable contribution from anyone.
    (Once a user collects 2,500 points, they can also ‘vote down’ a review. )

    And Rafael, you can give someone the highest kudos by selecting their review as the “Best Review/Best Answer.”

    😉

    Karel

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