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When a commitment-phobic long-haul truckie falls for a city writer online, he must cross more than the Nullarbor to win her heart or lose her to a city slicker.
Having read the story, this is a great logline. However, for non-Australians, the Nullarbor doesn't say much. Just say "the desert", or "1,675kms of desert" I would also remove "online", as it sits awkward at ?the end of the sentence. As it is a romance, or romantic comedy (can you do that?), I beliRead more
Having read the story, this is a great logline.
However, for non-Australians, the Nullarbor doesn’t say much. Just say “the desert”, or “1,675kms of desert”
I would also remove “online”, as it sits awkward at ?the end of the sentence.
As it is a romance, or romantic comedy (can you do that?), I believe it would be stronger if you could give the writer a flaw. Even if she is really flawless!! 🙂
See lessA secret government test places 3 children that have been raised with no human contact on a deserted island to see how they develop.
What were they raised by? It's cool but presently too vague.
What were they raised by? It’s cool but presently too vague.
See lessA well-to-do Chef at the peak of his career runs out of inspiration and passion for his food. He goes roadtripping towards his home town hoping to find his muse again but on his way, he can’t help but visit unique and sometimes deadly cafes, restaurants and food stalls he comes upon.
1: A little long 2: You don't have to tell us he is heading for home, just that he's taken to the road. 3: The inciting incident isn't compelling (But it is understandable) 4: The good part, this is the kind of story I would enjoy watching. ----- When he loses his passion for cooking, an overbearingRead more
1: A little long
2: You don’t have to tell us he is heading for home, just that he’s taken to the road.
3: The inciting incident isn’t compelling (But it is understandable)
4: The good part, this is the kind of story I would enjoy watching.
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When he loses his passion for cooking, an overbearing chef hits the road taking jobs in roadside diners and small town restaurants determined to re-discover his muse.
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Hope that helped, good luck with this!
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