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A Self centered rising young artist must put aside his ego when he is forced to compete against his on and off girlfriend, for a record deal with a famous rapper’s upcoming label.
"Self-centred rising young artist" = protagonist "put aside his ego" = main character goal "girlfriend" = villain Art about art is always fun. To write a story about an artist, is to simultaneously be an artist and emphasize with their point of view. It's the epithet like quality of the last sentencRead more
“Self-centred rising young artist” = protagonist
“put aside his ego” = main character goal
“girlfriend” = villain
Art about art is always fun. To write a story about an artist, is to simultaneously be an artist and emphasize with their point of view.
It’s the epithet like quality of the last sentence that left me hanging:
“… for a record deal with a famous rapper’s upcoming label”
To be semantic, perhaps the main character is more specifically a Musician, singer or music industry related profession. Disorientated my initial image of the character (sorry, imagined a painter/artist).
‘Put his ego aside’ is very abstract for a character goal, but ‘win a record deal’ is much more specific. The implied character arch is from self-centered -> through to -> selfless. A virtuous and powerful story structure. But perhaps this might be expressed through the story conflicted? What if the villian were kind, selfless, generous, supportive of others? This would surely go up againist the grain of our protagonist’s character flaw.
Speaking of villains, who is the main villain: girlfriend, or rapper? Not that stories can’t have multiple bad guys, just that usually there is only one main climatic “Boss” character.
See lessWhile retaking Europe an allied soldier finds a book with invaluable secrets that lead him on a worldwide treasure hunt where powerful opponents will stop at nothing to have it all for themselves.
Examples: “When reclaiming the Nazi Camelot during WWII” “an allied soldier sets out on a worldwide treasure hunt” “an allied soldier finds himself up against a megalomaniac US general” “following clues from a looted ancient Dead Sea copper scroll” Baddie's goal: Nazis need the treasure to birth theRead more
Examples:
“When reclaiming the Nazi Camelot during WWII”
“an allied soldier sets out on a worldwide treasure hunt”
“an allied soldier finds himself up against a megalomaniac US general”
“following clues from a looted ancient Dead Sea copper scroll”
Baddie’s goal: Nazis need the treasure to birth the Fourth Reich.
This is your story, make these yours; hope you find these examples helpful.
See lessWhen his sister is taken, a rule-loving fiddler crab breaks out of his shell and dives claw first into a global climate crisis to save her.
A like the idea of an animated family adventure involving a timely issue like the global climate crisis so you've got a great hook. I think a bit more detail could strengthen the logline. I'd clarify how or by who the sister crab gets taken and how the protagonist crab "breaks out of his shell" to sRead more
A like the idea of an animated family adventure involving a timely issue like the global climate crisis so you’ve got a great hook. I think a bit more detail could strengthen the logline. I’d clarify how or by who the sister crab gets taken and how the protagonist crab “breaks out of his shell” to save her. Something to help visualize the story more. Overall, I like what’s here.
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