1. Posted: April 6, 2018In:

    Logline: A total womanizer transforms his female best friend from clinger to player, finds himself attracted to his new creation but has taught her a little too well.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity

    Very good points by candersonm.The plot seems to be a variant of the ancient myth of Pygmalion. (A good modern example is the musical? "My Fair Lady" inspired by the play "Pygmalion" by George Bernard Shaw).The standard way it plays out is through ironic reversal whereby the "creator" falls in loveRead more

    Very good points by candersonm.

    The plot seems to be a variant of the ancient myth of Pygmalion. (A good modern example is the musical? “My Fair Lady” inspired by the play “Pygmalion” by George Bernard Shaw).

    The standard way it plays out is through ironic reversal whereby the “creator” falls in love with his “creation”.? But he is too successful in molding her in the image of his idea of an ideal woman.? He loses control of and is bested by his “creation”.

    “…finds himself attracted to his new creation but has taught her a little too well.”? seems generic and vague.? Exactly how has he taught her all too well?? I seems to me the story needs a? unique angle, a specific fresh take and? a specific new and interesting way she has bested him.

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  2. Posted: April 3, 2018In:

    When amateur thieves break into his retirement home it’s upto an aging war veteran to kick their a**, risking his slip disk

    Neer Shelter Singularity

    This reads very well as a premise for a comedy.I would make the stakes higher, money is less relevant for these people than their memories.I would also expand the story to include more of the MC's retirement home commrads: After thieves break into their retirement village, a war veteran must lead aRead more

    This reads very well as a premise for a comedy.

    I would make the stakes higher, money is less relevant for these people than their memories.

    I would also expand the story to include more of the MC’s retirement home commrads:
    After thieves break into their retirement village, a war veteran must lead a group of seniors, walking aids and all, to save their most cherished possessions.

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  3. Posted: April 4, 2018In:

    An alien living as their friendly neighbourhood mechanic, must prevent his beloved street from getting sold block-by-block before the greedy billionaire visits his garage

    Best Answer
    candersonm Logliner

    egghead is a nice title. Would indicate a comedy a bit more to me. ?"their" friendly throws me -- who is "their" referring to? ? I'd stick to "the friendly." Block-by-block is also overkill for me. ?Can you come up with a better more nefarious description than billionaire? ?Greedy developer? ?friendRead more

    egghead is a nice title. Would indicate a comedy a bit more to me. ?”their” friendly throws me — who is “their” referring to? ? I’d stick to “the friendly.”

    Block-by-block is also overkill for me. ?Can you come up with a better more nefarious description than billionaire? ?Greedy developer? ?friendly and beloved ?serve the same purpose for me in regards to his affection for his neighbors.

    Idea:

    A shapeshifting alien, living as the friendly neighborhood mechanic, must prevent his block from getting sold before the greedy developer discovers eggs hibernating in his garage. ?

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