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This is an idea I’ve had for a while for a short film: After a depressed alien calls into a radio show and threatens to destroy the city, the host, a suicidal middle aged woman, must talk down the alien and prevent mass destruction.
The inciting incident needs to be irrevocable proof that a danger to the city exists, or else it fails to provide the necessary and sudden shift in the world of the MC. Secondly, about the goal: just talking a terrorist out of doing the bad thing they intend to do is not enough. If someone outrightRead more
The inciting incident needs to be irrevocable proof that a danger to the city exists, or else it fails to provide the necessary and sudden shift in the world of the MC.
Secondly, about the goal: just talking a terrorist out of doing the bad thing they intend to do is not enough. If someone outright threatens the lives of all the people in the city I live in, I would have to catch them and put them in jail to rest at ease. The goal, therefore, doesn’t match up to the stakes at hand. Perhaps make it so she needs to keep him on the line long enough for the authorities to trace his call and find his location.
See lessafter-surviving-a-serial-killer-attack-thanks-to-the-donated-organs-of-three-girls-arata-must-remember-the-identity-of-the-murder-who-attacked-him-while-the-spirits-of-the-girls-of-its-new-organs-fol
Where is the logline?Noard, if you deleted the logline after receiving comments in the thread, please don't do that again. The point of this website is to learn from each other's experiences - mistakes included.
Where is the logline?
Noard, if you deleted the logline after receiving comments in the thread, please don’t do that again. The point of this website is to learn from each other’s experiences – mistakes included.
See lessAn immature government programmer’s promotion is denied by his overbearing boss, so he resorts to childish pranks with his beleaguered coworkers in the hope he’ll get transferred.
The logline is too wordy. You can get rid of: "...immature..." this is evident,? "...overbearing..." adds little as he or she are already the bad guy or gal for denying the promotion, and "...childish..." is implied in the action. Also re state the actions and events in a causal manner, i.e: After hRead more
The logline is too wordy. You can get rid of: “…immature…” this is evident,? “…overbearing…” adds little as he or she are already the bad guy or gal for denying the promotion, and “…childish…” is implied in the action.
Also re state the actions and events in a causal manner, i.e:
After his promotion is denied by his supervisor, a government programmer resorts to pranks in an attempt to get fired.
Not sure there is enough meat on the proverbial bones for a whole feature here,? a short perhaps but a 85+ minute film not so much.
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