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An immature government programmer’s promotion is denied by his overbearing boss, so he resorts to childish pranks with his beleaguered coworkers in the hope he’ll get transferred.
The logline is too wordy. You can get rid of: "...immature..." this is evident,? "...overbearing..." adds little as he or she are already the bad guy or gal for denying the promotion, and "...childish..." is implied in the action. Also re state the actions and events in a causal manner, i.e: After hRead more
The logline is too wordy. You can get rid of: “…immature…” this is evident,? “…overbearing…” adds little as he or she are already the bad guy or gal for denying the promotion, and “…childish…” is implied in the action.
Also re state the actions and events in a causal manner, i.e:
After his promotion is denied by his supervisor, a government programmer resorts to pranks in an attempt to get fired.
Not sure there is enough meat on the proverbial bones for a whole feature here,? a short perhaps but a 85+ minute film not so much.
See lessSally Mitchell, after having a drunken one night stand with Chris Rogers, finds herself pregnant with twins. Sally and Chris move in together, , forcing their best friends and housemates Dean Smith and Melissa Pearce to do the same, resulting in four twenty somethings having to grow up faster than they wanted to.
BTW this may very well be a great story, but the logline itself spends way too much time telling us the set-up to the story but then tells us nothing about what the lead character's goal is, now that this event has happened, what must the lead character actually do.
BTW this may very well be a great story, but the logline itself spends way too much time telling us the set-up to the story but then tells us nothing about what the lead character’s goal is, now that this event has happened, what must the lead character actually do.
See lessOn meeting witches who fantasize him and have golden teeth, a boy who thinks his crush is out of his league decides to steal their teeth while they battle for his affections.
Thank You Very Much :) Nir Shelter I'll try my best at improving the Logline.
Thank You Very Much 🙂
See lessNir Shelter
I’ll try my best at improving the Logline.