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  1. Posted: July 15, 2017In: Comedy

    Planet Spaceballs’ President Skroob sends Lord Dark Helmet to steal planet Druidia’s abundant supply of air to replenish their own, and only Lone Starr can stop them. SPACEBALLS

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on July 15, 2017 at 11:57 am

    I think the logline should have been told from Lone Starr's perspective:When asked to rescue a Drewish princess from the dreaded Spaceballs, a cynical mercenary must learn the ways of the Schwartz in order to fight the Spaceballs army's evil commander.I'll admit, I chuckled when writing this...

    I think the logline should have been told from Lone Starr’s perspective:
    When asked to rescue a Drewish princess from the dreaded Spaceballs, a cynical mercenary must learn the ways of the Schwartz in order to fight the Spaceballs army’s evil commander.

    I’ll admit, I chuckled when writing this…

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  2. Posted: July 5, 2017In: Comedy

    A young orphan boy in India receives a letter through which it is revealed that he has inherited some treasure which has been lying buried in his ancestral home in Pakistan. When he illegally reaches there he finds out that this old dilapidated burnt down house is now a terrorist camp .

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on July 9, 2017 at 12:45 pm

    This reads like a good setup, but what is his objective goal as a result of it? His actions are what's going to make this an interesting story, so best focus on his actions and goal - the essentials for a plot.

    This reads like a good setup, but what is his objective goal as a result of it?

    His actions are what’s going to make this an interesting story, so best focus on his actions and goal – the essentials for a plot.

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  3. Posted: July 3, 2017In: Comedy

    l

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on July 3, 2017 at 5:36 pm

    What happened to the logline?

    What happened to the logline?

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