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  1. Posted: April 30, 2017In: Comedy

    Thirty five year old toy designer John who hates kids gets a chance to design toys for one of the best toy manufacturing company under the super vision of four year old Sara.

    [Deleted User]
    Added an answer on May 3, 2017 at 4:25 am

    The logline sets up an interesting situation for the adult character -- but fails to give to him a plot, There is no indication where the story is going to go with the setup.Given the situation he finds himself in, what must ?he about it? ? Or else -- what are the stakes?If he's the protagonist thenRead more

    The logline sets up an interesting situation for the adult character — but fails to give to him a plot, There is no indication where the story is going to go with the setup.

    Given the situation he finds himself in, what must ?he about it? ? Or else — what are the stakes?

    If he’s the protagonist then he needs to have a proactive role in pursuit of an objective goal. ?What is that goal?

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  2. Posted: May 1, 2017In: Comedy

    When his grandmother sets him up with a man they?ve just met, an architect must decide between a loveless relationship and reinventing himself to complete The Playground and reclaim himself ? and the man he loves.

    [Deleted User]
    Added an answer on May 2, 2017 at 1:02 pm

    Agree with Nir Shelter that in the romance genre there's got to be a seemingly insuperable obstacle that stands in the way of true love. ?In this case, the obstacle appears to be internal. But film is a visual medium so all internal conflicts and obstacles must be shown ?-- there has to be an externRead more

    Agree with Nir Shelter that in the romance genre there’s got to be a seemingly insuperable obstacle that stands in the way of true love. ?In this case, the obstacle appears to be internal.

    But film is a visual medium so all internal conflicts and obstacles must be shown ?– there has to be an external representation of the obstacle. The indecisiveness is not the problem; it’s a a symptom of the deeper problem, the obstacle. What is that obstacle?

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  3. Posted: April 30, 2017In: Comedy

    When his grandmother encourages a stranger to ?upset his canoe?, an architect must decide between a loveless relationship and reinventing himself to complete The Playground and claim the life – and love – he subconsciously craves.

    [Deleted User]
    Added an answer on May 1, 2017 at 9:00 am

    What about this: When his grandmother sets him up with a man they?ve just met, an architect must decide between a loveless relationship and reinventing himself to complete The Playground and reclaim himself ? and the man he loves.

    What about this:

    When his grandmother sets him up with a man they?ve just met, an architect must decide between a loveless relationship and reinventing himself to complete The Playground and reclaim himself ? and the man he loves.

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