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  1. Posted: March 28, 2017In: Comedy

    POOL PARTY – When the humiliating pranking of an overweight loser during a high school pep rally goes viral, he decides to face his insecurities and his bullies in 3 months at the annual summer pool party hosted by the most popular girl in school.

    [Deleted User]
    Added an answer on March 29, 2017 at 10:08 am

    >>>we are lead to believe that in the film his greatest antagonist is the leader of the bullies.Then reconfigure the logline accordingly>>he realizes his fatal flaw is his inability to take a chance (for fear of failiure.Okay, but that's a subjective problem to work out in the courseRead more

    >>>we are lead to believe that in the film his greatest antagonist is the leader of the bullies.

    Then reconfigure the logline accordingly

    >>he realizes his fatal flaw is his inability to take a chance (for fear of failiure.

    Okay, but that’s a subjective problem to work out in the course of struggling for a specific objective goal. It is not an aspect of the story to feature in a logline.

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  2. Posted: March 25, 2017In: Comedy

    Halo Effect -Can a bookish FBI agent catch a mobster after repulsive prison food turns him from a funny fat man to a charismatic mob boss and motivational guru. Or will his face prove too irresistible?

    Dkpough1 Uberwriter
    Added an answer on March 26, 2017 at 9:37 am

    "Can a bookish FBI agent catch a mobster after repulsive prison food turns him from a funny fat man to a charismatic mob boss and motivational guru. Or will his face prove too irresistible?" A logline should not be the dramatic question of a story. It should be a sentence that raises that question.Read more

    “Can a bookish FBI agent catch a mobster after repulsive prison food turns him from a funny fat man to a charismatic mob boss and motivational guru. Or will his face prove too irresistible?”

    A logline should not be the dramatic question of a story. It should be a sentence that raises that question. What does this mobster do which prompts the agent to catch him? After he’s gone through his transformation, you don’t describe anything the FBI should be spending their time on.

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  3. Posted: March 25, 2017In: Comedy

    action,comedy about incurious uber driver tries to save his life and his car after picking up a young incompetent terrorist wanted to explode a bomb in a central court.

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on March 25, 2017 at 9:47 am

    In this logline attempt you have given us the situation, but you have left out what the driver must do. "When his ride share client turns out to be a terrorist, an Uber driver has sixty minutes to..." (Then tell us what he must do)

    In this logline attempt you have given us the situation, but you have left out what the driver must do.

    “When his ride share client turns out to be a terrorist, an Uber driver has sixty minutes to…” (Then tell us what he must do)

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