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When faced with the agony of getting jobs after graduation, a hapless hair metal band goes on the road trip from hell for a shot at a huge record deal but a jaded former classmate works for the label and will stop at nothing to see them flop.
Why MUST they get a record deal? Most bands and musicians want a record deal, what is different about this band that makes their story of getting a record deal worth telling? In other words, what is the specific event that motivates them to take action in order to get the record deal? Secondly, whatRead more
Why MUST they get a record deal? Most bands and musicians want a record deal, what is different about this band that makes their story of getting a record deal worth telling? In other words, what is the specific event that motivates them to take action in order to get the record deal?
Secondly, what is at stake? So what if they don’t get the deal, what’s the worst that will happen? Much like many other bands they’ll all get jobs and move on with their lives?
The jaded classmate can be cut, he isn’t presenting any SPECIFIC obstacles in the logline – “…will stop at nothing…” means nothing, as it doesn’t describe and specific event or action. However, if he were to be in a rival band who are also targeting a record deal with the same label then the obstacle is made clear.
For example:
After their lead singer is diagnosed with throat cancer, a metal band have one a month to score a record deal before he loses his voice forever.
This isn’t very good but it illustrates the idea that as a result of a single event the main characters became motivated to take action in pursuit of a single goal. You could make it terminal cancer so he will die instead of just lose his voice and the same applies only a bit more morbid.
See lessAfter he magically starts visualizing the desires of any female he touches, a girl-shy teen gets the chance to win his dream girl away from a Machiavellian bully.
"Do you agree, or do you think a logline without an explicitly stated inciting incident is a no no." Personally I don't think a logline absolutely needs an inciting incident. There's actually a thread DPG started where we discussed it in detail. To me, the most important parts are: 1) Hook 2)CharactRead more
“Do you agree, or do you think a logline without an explicitly stated inciting incident is a no no.”
Personally I don’t think a logline absolutely needs an inciting incident. There’s actually a thread DPG started where we discussed it in detail.
To me, the most important parts are: 1) Hook 2)Characters 3)Plot/goal 4)Inciting incident.
As long as you have the hook, dangling out there in the logline, and it is concisely written and conveys some sense of the plot, it is debatable whether an inciting incident is necessary.
As for??After he starts hearing what women think a chauvinist ad exec gets the chance to steal back his job from a female rival??it’s a bit different because it does imply the inciting incident. But it puts the hook front and center, and it actually offers a clear reason, due to his chauvinistic nature: How could a mere woman deserve the job more than him?
I hope this helps.
See lessWhen a humiliated teen gets the ability to see the desires of anyone he touches, he gets a shot at outmaneuvering the girl who brought him down.
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