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  1. Posted: February 15, 2017In: Comedy

    A whiny arrogant owner of a store is being visited by three different spirits in order for him to preserve and save his relations with his closed ones.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on February 17, 2017 at 9:14 am

    Agreed with the above. Is there a specific event that happens or action he does that makes the spirits visit him? You could make t so as a result of him doing one selfish act the spirits decide he needs to learn a lesson - in other words give him an inciting incident instead of a random visit for beRead more

    Agreed with the above.

    Is there a specific event that happens or action he does that makes the spirits visit him? You could make t so as a result of him doing one selfish act the spirits decide he needs to learn a lesson – in other words give him an inciting incident instead of a random visit for being a douche.

    On? a side note, like Richiev I think this needs a distinctive element to help it stand out from the many other stories of a similar premise.

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  2. Posted: February 15, 2017In: Comedy

    When he starts visualizing the sexual fantasies of anyone he touches, a love-struck freshman has one week to find true love or be doomed to rule hell. Title: SixSixSix

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on February 17, 2017 at 8:28 am

    I'm always for simplification, however, in this instance, I still fail to see the cause and effect connecting the inciting incident and goal. Him getting these powers out of the blue doesn't logically connect with him needing to find true love. What does true love mean? Must he be married? Engaged?Read more

    I’m always for simplification, however, in this instance, I still fail to see the cause and effect connecting the inciting incident and goal. Him getting these powers out of the blue doesn’t logically connect with him needing to find true love. What does true love mean? Must he be married? Engaged? Committed? Love is subjective and even in the fairy tails requires a symbolic act of some sort, what’s his?

    Lastly, what’s at stake? So what if he visualizes other people’s desires, is that a bad thing? What does he have to lose that forces him to make a deal with the devil?

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  3. Posted: February 12, 2017In: Comedy

    A father and the estranged daughter he seeks to reconnect with accompany an affluent friend to a secret restaurant. The father is horrified to learn the restaurant serves nothing but human meat, and must find a way to cope while protecting his daughter’s innocence.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on February 15, 2017 at 7:19 am

    Father and daughter reconnecting is a good base for a story and can make for an interesting film, however, the cannibalism feels like it's tacked on as a click bate device more than a plot necessity. If cannibalism was somehow a part of their lives then it would fit in better, right now it feels likRead more

    Father and daughter reconnecting is a good base for a story and can make for an interesting film, however, the cannibalism feels like it’s tacked on as a click bate device more than a plot necessity. If cannibalism was somehow a part of their lives then it would fit in better, right now it feels like an external add on for ‘crazy’ effect.

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